Jen on the Edge

Moving

2008-03-04T20:20:00.005-05:00

In an effort to consolidate my blogging, Jen on the Edge has moved to WordPress. Please follow me there and continue with the fun!

(Do you think if I put enough links in you'll follow me?)

What a bummer.

2008-03-04T09:36:00.005-05:00

The females of Jenworld love candy, chocolate in particular. We all have our favorites for each season and Easter is no exception. One that we particularly like is Cadbury's Mini Eggs. How can you go wrong with milk chocolate covered with a candy shell? It's like M&Ms, but just a little different.

This year, Cadbury's introduced DARK chocolate Mini Eggs. (Or maybe they've been around and we're just now noticing.) I was so damn excited when I heard and couldn't wait to try them.

Alas, my excitement turned to disgust after one bite. The chocolate was cheap (after all, Hershey's is the American distributor) and was oily. I can't describe it any better than that. They tasted like ass, plain and simple. Yuck.

Has anyone else tried them?

At least she's honest

2008-03-04T09:01:00.001-05:00

It is generally not a good sign to get an email from a teacher at 3:20 in the afternoon. When one does come into my inbox, I know to brace myself.

Yesterday I received an email from Elegant's teacher. Apparently El had a hard time focusing and completing her work yesterday. Duh -- it was Monday and it was 64 degrees outside. She was also a little disrespectful when the teacher took her aside to talk to her about her work ethic. Actually, she was more than a little disrespectful; apparently she ignored the teacher and wouldn't look at her, which is a sure sign that Elegant knows she's done wrong but doesn't want to admit it.

When I got the email, I asked Elegant how her day went. She immediately looked suspicious and asked, "Did my teacher email you?" I said that she had and asked Elegant to tell me what happened. Elegant's response was, "Well, you already know everything, so there's really nothing more for me to say."

As you can imagine, there were repercussions in Jenworld. The absolute worst punishment in the world for Elegant is making her write, followed closely by having to apologize or admit that she did something wrong, so last night she had to write a note of apology to her teacher in her very nicest handwriting. The first attempt was not acceptable, as it said, "I am sorry. I did not lissen because I was bored." The second letter was a bit more remorseful.

So hopefully today will be a better day for my girl. What would make it stellar is if she paid attention AND found her glasses, which have been missing since last week.

Sigh...

A shameful confession

2008-03-03T00:02:00.002-05:00

Have I ever told you about my love/hate relationship with Tom Jones?

[Pretend there's a photo of Tom here.]

I don't understand why people think he's so hot. I think he's repulsive. The man actually turns my stomach. I can't stand looking at photos of him. If I had a choice between standing next to Tom Jones or a rattlesnake, I'd think my options through carefully before deciding.

But some of his music is enjoyable and gets in your head and Just. Won't. Leave. I won't actually buy a CD because that would involve having liner notes with his nasty face on it, but I do love it when I hear "What's New Pussy Cat" or "She's a Lady" in a movie.

(It just only now occurred to me that I could download some songs from iTunes.)

(Hmmm... I'll be back in a few minutes.)

Okay, it appears that iTunes downloads include a photo of the musician. Even though my iPod screen is only two inches wide, I'm going to have to think about this. I wouldn't want Tom's ugly mug breaking my stride when I'm on my walk.

So if you feel like starting your week off with some campy 1960s and 1970s tunes, click here, here, and here. I'll be over here doing the same -- with the speakers on and the computer screen off.

Such a shame

2008-03-03T00:01:00.000-05:00

The Boy came for a visit yesterday.

He was not cute:

The Boy was having some hair issues yesterday.

His cousins did not enjoy him at all:

Pat-a-cake is the best game ever!

He obviously did not have a good time:

Best. Toy. Ever.

So he looked for an easy escape from Jenworld:

Low windows are good for little dudes.

And, for the true Micah fans (Hi Mom!), some video:

The return of Ivana Goldtooth

2008-03-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

After much wiggling, Elegant lost her third tooth yesterday, which meant a visit from her personal tooth fairy, Ivana Goldtooth. As is the tradition in Jenworld, Ivana left a letter and a dollar in exchange for the tooth:

Dearest Elegant,

Darling! I’m very excited that you’ve lost your third tooth. You must be thrilled, especially since this one took so so so long to come out. I really thought it would come out while you were at Cirque du Soleil today, but it hung there a little bit longer.

So darling, are you getting excited about your trip to England next month? I just love England. London is so exciting and there’s so much to do. You must go to Madame Tussaud’s and see all the wax statues of famous people. Oh, and of course you must stop by Buckingham Palace, which is the Queen’s fancy fancy fancy castle. Well, one of her fancy castles, that is. If you meet the Queen, tell her I said Hello. I am familiar with some of the teeth in that family.

Keep your teeth shiny and clean. I just know I’ll be back soon to see you -- wiggle those top teeth lots and lots!

Love, Ivana Goldtooth

Ivana is certainly an interesting fairy. So much energy. So much enthusiasm. I get tired just reading her letters. But Elegant loves her, which is really all that matters.

And here is what El's new smile looks like:

It's here!

2008-03-01T00:25:00.002-05:00

Today's the day. After weeks of planning, Eco Women: Protectors of the Planet is now ready to rock and roll. So click on over and let us know what you think.

February photo 29 -- Going out with a bang

2008-02-29T00:03:00.001-05:00

For my final February photo, I give you nothing but the absolute very best:

Yes, the Boy is back by popular demand. At eleven months of age, my nephew is a charmer and the ladies just love him. The men too. One look at him (or a photo of him) and I am instantly smitten anew. He has that effect on a number of people -- his parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, and most definitely his two cousins.

And thus ends my experiment with daily photos. As with NaBloPoMo, I have discovered that nothing ensures writer's block quite like setting some sort of daily goal, so it will be quite a while before I do something like this again.

A new favorite -- song and TVshow

2008-02-29T00:02:00.001-05:00

Have any of you seen the TV show "Dead Like Me"? Pete heard good things, so we've been cruising through it the past couple of weeks. The writing is that wonderful combination of funny and intelligent and I'm loving every minute of it. Too bad there were only two seasons and we're well into Season 2. We've noticed a new listing for it on IMDB, but we can't tell if it's a new season or a movie. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

The music was mostly done by Stewart Copeland -- oh he of The Police -- but there was one song (not by him) that we kept hearing during Season 1 that really grabbed us. After some searching, I found out that it was "Boom Boom Ba" by Metisse and I have since downloaded it to my iPod and listened to it approximately eleventy squillion times this week.

Enjoy.

February photo 28 -- The play's the thing

2008-02-28T08:42:00.005-05:00

So I owe y'all a play review and some photos...

Remember how I said that Elegant was chosen to hand out programs? As Pete and I were walking up to school yesterday, I remarked that I was certain our girl was watching for us. Not one second later we heard, "Hi Mommy and Daddy!" and out she came:

You can definitely see the purple footwear in that photo.

And then she did her job and handed me a program...

... followed by handing one to Pete, who thought he'd sneak in a quick smooch too:

We went into the auditorium and Elegant asked us to sit near the door, as that's where she would be coming in and was also near her spot on the stage. Soon thereafter, the actors arrived:

And now for some bad news. Some dumb ass (me) forgot to charge the camera batteries and it was at this precise moment in the action that the camera crapped out. I'm truly sorry.

I'm not going to take you through the entire play ("Tiki Tiki Tembo"), but will tell you it was so much better than the Greek tragedy the third graders did last fall, which was so boring that Pete and I didn't even bother to pay attention. Yes, we are lame parents.

An important thing to know about Elegant: She gets stage fright. I'm not kidding. One would think that she would be a natural in front of an audience, but it's actually quite the opposite. She freezes. Completely and totally. She loves the arts, she loves plays, she loves music. She does not however like to be in front of crowds. So she was there on the stage yesterday, but not really getting into the singing and dancing.

The play itself was very entertaining. Nice music, enthusiastic acting, and even a cute ribbon dance at the end. All in all, a lovely 30 minutes.

February photo 27

2008-02-27T09:03:00.006-05:00

The second grade play is today. All second graders will be participating and all were instructed to wear a white long sleeve shirt and black pants as their base costume.

Think about that for a moment.

My second grader, Elegant, is supposed to wear black and white, just like everyone else? She's supposed to blend in? This is Elegant -- the child whose entire wardrobe is based on the principle that pink and purple are basic colors and that they match with everything and are appropriate year round and at all occasions.

Does anyone reading this seriously believe that Elegant even has a plain white t-shirt or that she's going do anything plain? Of course not.

Starting from the top...

Elegant opted for a hot pink hair doodad with a butterfly for her very perky hair. I think that style adds three inches to her height today.

The shirt is a lovely white blouse with ruffles at the collar AND cuffs. She does have on a white short sleeve t-shirt underneath for a little extra warmth, and it's probably the only plain thing in her wardrobe and a hand-me-down from Graceful at that.

And there's jewelry, natch. Tiny little blue sapphire studs, a pink and purple charm necklace made by Lori, and a silver and sapphire bracelet. Elegant's birthstone is sapphires, so she likes to wear them, although she would prefer that she'd been born in a month with a brighter stone.

The pants are black leggings that are actually a little short, which gives Elegant an Audrey Hepburn vibe. (Does anyone remember those black pants Audrey used to wear?) Plus it means that people will really notice El's socks and shoes, which are the piece de resistance.

As for socks and shoes, Elegant went with purple socks with rainbows and purple suede Mary Jane shoes with embellished flowers.

So the girl had an extra spring in her step as she went out the door today. She's very excited about the play AND she was chosen to hand out programs beforehand.

Yes, I'll do a play review -- hopefully with photos -- later today.

Normally I like guys with blonde hair and blue eyes

2008-02-27T07:11:00.000-05:00

Oh my holy hell! I am SO going on a date with this guy:

Yep, Mr. Darcy and I are going to have a wonderful evening together, just the two of us.

How? Because Mr. Colin Firth has put himself up for auction for charity.

Of course, my winning this auction (currently at $6,800) is going involve my using a real whole lot of Pete's money. Do you think he'll mind too much?

Because I think it's a most worthy cause and I really don't mind helping out. And, if it means I have to fly all the way to England and go on a date, then I think I can manage.

February photo 26

2008-02-26T16:17:00.006-05:00

Our girls have art at school only once per week, which I think is just plain wrong, but that's a gripe for another time. In art class, the students explore different types of art and experiment with techniques and materials. The art teachers keep all of the finished projects all year and then send them home in June. Pete and I eagerly anticipate the bringing home of the portfolios because there are always some wonderful surprises. We sit together as a family and go through each piece and the girls tell us what they were learning or some other story about their art. Afterward, the girls decide what they want to hang in their rooms and we decide what will hang in the Jenworld Art Gallery:

This is the stairway going down to the basement. If we ever build our dream house, I'm planning to put the art gallery in a much more prominent location, but for now this is just where we have space at this time in this house.

We have other art around the house, including in the little bathroom on the first floor:

The one on the left is by Elegant and is a tree in fall. When I saw it hanging with her classmates' art at school in October 2006, I was so excited because I just knew exactly where I was going to hang it, but then I had to wait eight months until I could actually get my hands on it. The painting on the right is actually a collage that Graceful did. She painted different parts, cut them out, and put them all together into one marvelous whole. Again, as soon as I saw it, I knew exactly where I would be hanging it.

And speaking of art, I need to end this and go pick up Elegant. She has art classes after school on Tuesdays and today was going to be working with clay, which always leads to interesting results.

February photo 25

2008-02-25T15:49:00.005-05:00

Look at this photo and see if you can find three themes in my life today:

1. I got new shoes and I already heart them very much. These are by Keen and they arrived today. I could have bought them locally, but why spend $90 (even at Zappos) when one can find them new in the box on eBay for about two-thirds that, including shipping. Yes, I do love me some eBay.

2. The book, which I've read before, but it's just one of those that I revisit every couple of years.

3. Look to the left. Do you see boxes and stacks of papers? Why yes, I do have another mailing going out for work. This one will reach 1,300 people and has four inserts, so I'll be spending a lot of time at my kitchen table this week and next.

Jimmy and Ben, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

2008-02-25T10:07:00.004-05:00

Remember that most excellent video with Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon? Jimmy Kimmel has come back with his response and it's GREAT!

Matt vs. Ben? Anyone have an opinion?

Queen

2008-02-25T00:02:00.003-05:00

We spent over seven hours in the car this weekend and listed to "The Best of Queen" two or three times.

This is Graceful's favorite.

And this is Elegant's, which Graceful had thought was called "Reginald P. Carlove."

Pete doesn't have a single favorite, but he does like this one a lot.

When listening to "Fat Bottomed Girls," Graceful said, " ' Fat Bottomed Girls make the rockin' world go 'round.' What's THAT mean???"

And this is my current Queen fave.

Just for kicks, here's "Bohemian Rhapsody" because it deserves some serious respect.

We pulled out an old Van Morrison album last night, so that might just be our next music rut.

And we're related ... how?

2008-02-25T00:01:00.000-05:00

A conversation while we were at my parents' house this weekend:

Graceful, "Aunt Meredith, how old are you?"

Mer, "Thirty-five."

Graceful, "You're old enough to be president now."

Mer, something like, "You're right, I am, but I'm not well-funded enough to run."

Jen, clearly with Satan sitting on my shoulder, trying to stir up trouble, "Yeah but Graceful, what would you do if Aunt Mer ran as a Republican? Would you still vote for her?"

Graceful, looking very concerned, "Hmmm, I'd have to think about that."

Looks of dismay from my sister and step-mother, both of whom are Republicans. In case you haven't figured this out yet, we here in Jenworld are Democrats, including the children. They pretty much believe that George W. Bush is the most evil person alive. We've tried to explain that, no, it's actually Dick Cheney who is of greater concern. Bush, after all, is not smart enough to do any real damage. And, yes, my children do also believe that Bush is of sub-par intelligence.

My stepmother, "I can't believe how you're brainwashing your children."

Jen, apparently itching for a fight, "They're my children and I'm raising them to think the way I do, which is part of what parenting is about."

At that point, my sister, sensing trouble, wisely changed the subject to Obama vs. Hillary, which got us on more neutral ground, if you can believe that.

DNA is a really weird fucking thing.

February photo 24 -- The weekend in photos

2008-02-24T14:27:00.009-05:00

We drove down to my father and stepmother's house yesterday for an overnight visit. It's 3.5-4 hours in the car, so Graceful prepared accordingly:

The trip down was uneventful, except for the repeated requests for food and entertainment.

Once there, the girls were delighted to not only see Grandma and Grandpa, but also Aunt Meredith and Uncle Andy. There was lots of exploring around the house and playing.

After dinner, the girls took a long bubble bath in Grandma's big jacuzzi. They came out smelling like a French bordello and you could almost see the aura of perfume around them.

My sister and her husband are into karaoke -- no, I can't believe she's related to me -- and pulled out their gear last night. Graceful tends to get stage fright, so she watched the goings-on from the back of the room, but Elegant got a seat right up front to watch:

Then she got comfortable:

The singing was done solely by my sister and brother-in-law, with Graceful and Elegant providing backup. They tried to get Pete and me to sing, but we preferred to stay in the audience.

After all that excitement, we went to sleep easily last night. It's just as well, as we had to get up and make the drive back:

Tomorrow is the beginning of another week and there are things we need to do here in Jenworld. As I type, the girls are in their bedrooms using the walkie talkies and Pete's in the kitchen patching a wall. And now I'm off to do laundry.

Thrilling, I know.

February photo 23

2008-02-23T08:30:00.003-05:00

For some reason, we only recently -- like this very week -- clued in to the fact that the girls would reallyreallyreally enjoy having walkie talkies. As it happens, we had a set squirreled away amongst the junk in the basement. We told the girls about them and then refused to get off our lazy asses at that moment to go find them. Graceful nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged for a day or two until Pete put on his mining gear and went on the hunt. Two minutes later, he was back and plugging the walkie talkies in to recharge.

Yesterday, Graceful griped mightily about having to walk to school. It was cold, it was potentially wet out there and, if the school system was wise enough to open school two hours late, we probably should just drive instead of walkingl. At least, that was her thinking. As it happens, there was virtually no ice outside and therefore no reason not to walk. Because she is a smart negotiator, Graceful stopped whining long enough to request that they be allowed to use the walkie talkies on the way to school. We said yes -- anything to stop the incessant droning whine of the nine year old mosquito.

Elegant got dressed in record time and prepared her gear:

Alas, when we got outside, there were some technical difficulties, so the girls didn't actually get to talk on the walkie talkies, but they pretended anyway. When we got to school, we confiscated the communications devices, because can you just imagine what would happen otherwise? The girls would somehow figure out how to get them working and then would be whispering plans to each other throughout the day.

Today we are going to my father and stepmother's house, which is a fairly large abode with lots of nooks and crannies. The girls are planning to take the the walkie talkies with them and make use of all those closets and other hidden corners. I'm guessing they'll disappear when we walk in the door and all we'll hear for hours is bursts of static and then two girls speaking in code.

Y'all know this is just one step removed from giving the girls cell phones, right?

Whatever happened to those guys?

2008-02-22T13:13:00.006-05:00

This just popped up on iTunes.

I just LOVE that song. I have no idea why, but it's a helluva lot better than any of that Hannah Montana crap my children like.

Friday stuff

2008-02-22T09:08:00.000-05:00

We got more frozen shit last night, in the form of sleet, ice, and freezing rain. I'm not exactly sure what the difference among the three is -- and no one needs to enlighten me on this cold gray morning -- but we got enough of it that schools have been delayed by two hours. No complaints from me; I love having this extra time in the morning to be leisurely.

In anticipation of getting crappy weather and possibly being housebound with children, yesterday I did what any sensible person would do and went to Target to stock up on necessities, including chocolate and toilet paper. I'm not saying that the two are connected, only that our supplies were too low for my comfort.

I also picked up a seriously cute purse in my new It color for spring: GREEN. While not every woman should match her accessories to her eyes, that's my personal fashion statement for Spring 2008.

While I was shopping, I discovered that my favorite long sleeved t-shirt was marked down to $4.98, so I stocked up in a variety of colors, including black, green, blue, black, white, and black. I now have enough to see me through 11 days of travel in April.

(I wouldn't need so damn many new shirts if I weren't so messy. Every year I ruin shirts simply by spilling nacho cheese on my rack, which I admit is a convenient shelf, but not a place I wish to store bread crumbs or spaghetti sauce.)

Also whilst at the Big T, the Easter Bunny did some shopping for Graceful and Elegant. Easter is in four or five weeks, which seems impossible, but that's the problem with those floating holidays that change days and even months. We went from Valentine's hearts to Easter eggs with no time to even stock the stores for St. Patrick's Day. I recognize that by making these purchases in February I am jumping the gun a bit, so one could argue either that I have a shopping problem or that I am simply very organized. I prefer the latter.

In other news, Elegant has three loose teeth. After bearing the shame of being the only child in the first grade last year who had not lost a tooth, she lost two over the summer, at which point her mouth decided to take a break from all that losing of teeth. It was just So. Much. Work.

So now she has two wigglers on top and one on the bottom. The poor child can hardly talk with all that movement in there, and she has a lisp AND always sounds like she has something in her mouth. When I made Shepherd's Pie for dinner the other day, El came to the table and announced with great disdain, "Thith ith dithguthting!"

And now it's time to mosey outside and see just how slick it is and what levels of Pete's efforts will be necessary to get the girls to school.

February photo 22

2008-02-22T08:07:00.000-05:00

So, what do you think? Is it obvious that children live in Jenworld:

Those are magnet boards. We've been collecting them for years, adding them one by one (or, more accurately, two by two) as the girls have gotten older. Early versions were of Madeleine, dinosaurs, and farm animals. Later versions included fairies, princesses, and ballerinas.

The girls keep them all in the same container and will pull them out to create a Magnetic Extravaganza. The boards and dozens and dozens of magnets are all over the living room right now. At first glance, it appears to be pure chaos, but the reality is that the boards have been carefully divided and sorted. If you look more closely, you can see open spots on the carpet -- about the size of a 4' tall girl -- with semi-circular arrangements of magnet boards and pieces.

When the girls do this, there's a story, natch, and it tends to be elaborate. All of the boards and their characters interact and visit each other. The story tends to be a Major Drama -- akin to a soap opera, only without the adultery and alcoholism. Or the lengthy comas or villains on the run. There are, however, rich princesses and poor orphan servants. Maybe there's even a mystery to spice things up around the kingdom. One never knows what will spring from the fertile imaginations of children

Eco fun

2008-02-22T00:12:00.002-05:00

Melissa at Green Girl in Wisconsin and I have been working on a fun project: Eco Women: Protectors of the Planet! We'll get started on March 1 and plan to talk about the continuing adventures of Enviro Girl and Recycla as they try to save Planet Earth.

Yes folks, it's another damn eco blog. But! Ours is going to be fun. And EASY. So wander over there on March 1 and join the Eco Women on their mission for truth, justice, and the Green Way.

~ ~ ~

Speaking of eco stuff, a few weeks ago, Jan at The Prytz Family talked about Indigo Wild, a fabulous company that produces organic personal care and household products. They have a line called Zum, which includes Zum Body (lotions) and Zum Clean (cleaning supplies). I took Jan's advice and ordered various soaps, lotions, scrubs, laundry detergent, and cleaning supplies. The box arrived yesterday and my word it smelled SO GOOD even before I opened it. They even included several samples of other goodies, so it really was a fun box to open.

One disappointment was that the fine folks at Indigo Wild opted to use packing peanuts to pad the contents of the box. I don't care if they were so-called environmentally friendly packing peanuts or not; packing peanuts are the work of the Dark Side and I hate them, I just hate them. They float all over the place and skitter out of my reach as I grab for them. Plus, sorting through all those damn P.P. to find the parts of my order was a royal pain in the royal ass.

But that's a minor thing compared to all the other great things. I'm looking forward to trying all my new stuff and will let you know the results on Eco Women. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be placing another order soon, because Indigo Wild makes something called Zum Bum -- which is some sort of "bidet in a bottle" -- which Pete thinks is freaking hilarious and keeps calling "ass spray." I might just order up several bottles and make Pete test everything out on his own personal ass. Which I might add is mighty cute, but that's my opinion.

February photo 21

2008-02-21T09:28:00.004-05:00

Did any of y'all watch the lunar eclipse last night? We did. Actually, we HAD to, as it was Graceful's homework.

The girls were so excited and worried that they would miss the whole thing, until we explained that it wasn't dramatic like that, that it would take about an hour to happen and wasn't a 15 second occurance.

Luckily, their bedrooms are on the east side of the house and their beds are near the windows, so they could lie in their beds, all warm and cozy. And if Elegant just happened to fall asleep early on? Well, that's just bonus. And if Graceful fell asleep shortly thereafter? Double bonus.

I did not take the photo above, which I shamelessly stole from Yahoo News. The moon did not actually look like that here in Virginia. Maybe in the other 49 states, but not mine. It was small and white, then a l-o-n-g time later it was small and brown, then m-u-c-h later it was small and white again.

So now all residents of Jenworld can say they've seen a lunar eclipse. The next one is in 2010 and something tells me we'll be watching it then too.

Page 123

2008-02-20T21:44:00.004-05:00

MizMell has tagged me for the book meme that's going around these days. The rules:

Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
Open the book to page 123
Find the 5th sentence
Post the next three sentences
Tag 5 people

"The lawns around the office park become less green and stop growing and turn to stubble, and the begonias in the beds along the walkways fade, and the rhododendron leaves curl and then brown and then drop off. At home you increase the cycle of the underground sprinkler system from three times a week to every other day, to every day, to -- and you feel guilty about this after the voluntary watering restrictions are announced -- morning and evening, and you're maintaining everything but not gaining any ground, nothing seems happy, the lawn is green but thin, patchy, parched-looking, browning around the edges where the sprinkler's spray is weaker, and the crabgrass and clover are moving in. The impatiens along the wall down by the road are bravely blooming, but their foliage looks tired, and even the indestructible independent barberry, weary and dusty, seems to be calling for a helping hand."

Whew.

Honestly? Did any of you actually read that? I know I wouldn't have. Someone needs to instruct the author on increasing his use of periods and cutting way the hell back on his commas.

I'm not going to tag anyone. Feel free to tag yourself. And, if anyone wants this book, holler and I'll mail it to you. If more than one person wants it, I'll have a random drawing to choose a winner.

February photo 20

2008-02-20T07:00:00.004-05:00

I'm going to spend many paragraphs waxing poetic about my job, but if you bear with me to the end, I'll make it worth your while.

I've mentioned here how much I like my job. What I probably haven't mentioned is how much I like the men (and it's all men) I work with. The choral group is comprised of 50+ college students (plus a couple of non-students) and the conductor. They sing Serious Music. In multiple languages. From different eras, most of which are not modern.

The group is student self-governed, which means they run themselves. That's pretty huge, especially when you consider that they get NO funding from the university and have to handle their fundraising. Harvard's glee club has the backing of their music department AND a full staff to support the group. My guys? They have me. And the conductor. And we're both part-time. In fact, the conductor lives up in D.C. and drives down for twice-weekly rehearsals and the concerts.

Our group is one of the oldest student organizations at the university and one of the oldest choral groups of its kind in the country. There's a lot of history and tradition behind my guys. In 1943, their conductor wrote "The Testament of Freedom" which is one of most famous pieces of choral music out there. My guys gave the inaugural performance, which was broadcast nationwide and to the troops overseas. During the 1970s, they traveled to the Soviet Union during the height of the Cold War to perform. And they did it twice. My guys have sung for presidents, including Bill Clinton during the 1993 festivities to celebrate the 250th anniversary of Thomas Jefferson's birth.

The funding issue is a huge one, and one of the reasons I was hired. The guys were barely making ends meet and one of my jobs is to increase their revenue through annual and capital fundraising.

I spent a great deal of time during the Christmas break working on a grant proposal, the timing of which did not thrill me. I cussed a lot -- I know that surprises you all -- and I ranted a great deal more. But the proposal was done on time. The proposal was for a CD project -- songs that are specific to our university, but that have been forgotten over the decades.

Last month, we were asked to give a presentation to the trustees of the funding organization. Since the proposal was for a CD project, I suggested that we bring in a small number of the guys to sing. Also, since the group is student-led, I suggested that the group's president, a very earnest pre-med student, give the presentation, as it seemed more appropriate.

It was a Friday afternoon. The trustees spent all afternoon listening to one presentation after the other. Lots of talk, not much action. My guys were last. They walked in -- 12 of them wearing their blue blazers and orange and blue ties -- and they sang. Just one song. And it was beautiful. There was a crowd in the hallway listening and we all had chills. Afterward, the group's president gave his speech, which was short and to the point. As I said, he's earnest and believes in what he's doing, which can really make an impression on a captive audience.

I don't have a recording of that performance, so I pulled the song off You Tube. The guys must have had one of their blow-out parties and, as they are wont to do, they sang. Someone recorded it and put it up on YouTube. In spite of all that, they sound amazing. Listen, if you're interested.

Yep, those are my guys. And that's how good they sound in the midst of a party, when most of them are not sober. Imagine what their concerts are like.

I have to tell you that, as I was writing the grant proposal, I really didn't think we had a chance. There were so many other competing groups and this seemed so small by comparison. Once my guys performed, however, I knew, I just knew they were contenders.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from the director of the trust. We've been awarded a very nice amount of money to record that CD, which will be ready in early 2010. There will be a concert, of course, to share the music with the community, and it will be wonderful.

So, I'm walking on clouds right now. We got a grant, a big one, and it was the first one I'd ever spearheaded and taken to completion.

In honor of all that, today's photo is of my guys:

This was taken last May, at the concert given during graduation weekend. The guy in white is the conductor. He's, as you can probably guess, a very dapper fellow. For the Christmas concert, he often wears a black velvet tuxedo jacket, a Christmas bow tie, and some sort of festive socks. When the guys perform during the day, they wear blue blazers, white shirts, khaki pants, and school ties. The conductor does too, only his blazer has brass school buttons, his khaki pants have the school logo embroidered all over, and his socks are school colors too. No, he's not an alumnus. Just very festive.

If you'd like to hear more of my guys' music, this and this are from their Christmas concert. Crappy picture quality and the sound is a little thin, but you get the idea. The green blurs are the Christmas tree and greenery.

If you made it all the way to this point I am amazed. If you're interested in my guys' music and want to hear more, email me. I'll send you a CD -- my gift to you for your patience today.

What's for dinner tonight?

2008-02-19T12:40:00.004-05:00

You know, for someone who does not like to cook, I sure do an awful lot of it. From scratch. We don't eat fast food and we order takeout maybe once a month.

So, in any given day, I do the following:

Make breakfast -- Jenworld is not a pour-milk-on-cereal-for-breakfast kind of house. The girls usually have fruit and yogurt, followed by something else, such as buttermilk pancakes Pete made on Sunday or maybe whole wheat English muffins. These days, I'm having plain oatmeal and adding cinnamon and raisins, maybe a dollop of maple syrup. Luckily, Pete makes his own damn breakfast.

Pack lunch for the girls -- Every. Single. Day. Not once have they bought a school lunch. And I'm fine with that because, let's face it, school lunches suck. A typical lunch for Elegant will contain a sandwich (peanut butter and organic local honey on whole wheat bread), fruit, something crunchy like Pirate's Booty, yogurt, and a small dessert. Graceful's lunch is similar, except right now she's big into peanut butter (smooth, instead of the crunchy that her sister eats) on whole wheat crackers. And, while Elegant usually buys milk at school, Graceful takes water in a reusable bottle. She usually doesn't drink it, so then I make her finish it when she gets home. Because I'm so mean about not allowing her to get dehydrated.

Buy groceries -- I am at the grocery store a minimum of twice a week. If I go longer between visits, the staff at Whole Foods actually stop me upon my return and ask if we're all okay. I am not making this up.

Planning meals -- Okay, actually, our weekly dinners don't involve all that much planning. I usually give it three minutes' thought at the beginning of the week and then amend the grocery list accordingly. I usually cook without recipes, which can be either good or bad, depending on the menu item and if I was paying attention while I was cooking. Suffice it to say that it's not a good idea for me to simultaneously cook and talk on the phone.

Cooking dinner -- This can take a while, especially in the winter. Pot roasts go into the oven hours in advance. Bread needs three hours in the bread machine. Soups simmer for an hour or two and stews take at least three. Beans are soaked overnight and then slowed cooked all day. That said, not every night is like that and I intentionally plan some meals that are short, especially on nights we have soccer practice or Brownies. That's when I pull leftovers out of the freezer or whip up some quick pasta. We do eat some simple meals, like tacos (often on Thursdays) or frozen pizzas (Friday or Saturday night). I rarely cook on the weekends and my family must survive on tacos or other southwestern food or frozen pizzas or Pete's cooking. He is, by the way, a far better cook than I am and did most of the cooking before we had children. As far as I'm concerned, once the girls grow up and are living on their own, we will revert to that division of labor, as it really worked well for me.

Why do I spend so much time messing with food if I don't enjoy it? Because I want my family to eat good food. Healthy food. Food made mostly from scratch and not coming from sodium-laden boxes and cans. It's important to me that we all eat well, so I suck it up and cook even though I don't enjoy it. I usually liven things up by listening to good music (such as Hannah Montana) (I kid) while I cook.

Tonight's dinner is a good example of what I'm talking about. We're having shepherd's pie. This dish originated when Irish housewives would toss leftovers together and make a yummy meal. We, however, have no such leftovers, so all of this is going to be from scratch tonight. It will take me well over an hour to do the following:

Cook the potatoes to be mashed. I don't peel off the skins, which my children believe is my attempt to poison them, but that's just tough shit. They'll eat it and I promise they won't die. If they're lucky, I'll remember to scrub the dirt off first.
While the potatoes are cooking, I'll brown some beef in a skillet with olive oil, chopped mushrooms, onions, garlic, and carrots. The mushrooms are my next attempt to kill off my children. Luckily, they never seem to notice the onions and garlic, because that would be the tipping point for them.
The contents of the skillet will get dumped into a baking dish with some broth and some frozen peas that I won't bother to defrost because that's what the damn oven is for.
The potatoes will get drained, mashed, and I'll add butter, salt, and milk.
The mashed potatoes will be spread on top of the stuff in the baking pan and then the whole shebang goes into the oven to cook/brown/make my house smell good.
While there's action going on in the oven, I'll steam broccoli and grate some parmesan cheese to go on top.
Depending on my mood AND how much time I have AND how much time I have to spend cracking the whip over Graceful while she does her homework, I may or may not make a salad. Romaine hearts, chopped pears, and a little vinaigrette. (Pete, if you're reading this, don't get your hopes up because my mood does not currently point to salads.)

And before all of the above occurred, I went to Whole Foods and filled up my grocery cart and then handed the cashier a large part of Pete's paycheck.

The kicker is that Graceful and Elegant will likely bitch and moan throughout the meal about how awful it is. But I don't run a goddamn cafeteria, so what I put on the table is what they'll be eating. Or not. I suppose they could just go hungry. They won't die overnight from starvation. They'll have to have at least two reasonable bites of everything, but whether or not they eat more is up to them.

Wow, I've spent the past half hour typing this and now I cannot remember what my original point was. Great. Well, take from this what you will and maybe I'll remember my point later and add it.

February photo 19

2008-02-19T09:11:00.005-05:00

Elegant's fever broke yesterday afternoon and she felt well enough to play outside. We decided to pull out bikes and scooters:

As soon as the girls hit the road, they started playing a game that involved aliases and sleuthing. While I sat on a bench in the neighbor's yard and kept an eye on things, "Nancy" and "Tiffany" raced up and down the street, fully enjoying the mild winter afternoon and trying to solve the mystery that was part of their game. I must say that Tiffany is mighty skilled at riding a bike while wearing a dress.

Our yard is looking rather winter-weary. You can't see it so much in the photo, but it's almost time to rake out the flower beds and start cleaning things up. While it's too early to start planting, I am at least thinking. And plotting. And planning. And scheming. Because that's what I do this time of year as I contemplate the gardening possibilities.

Today, Elegant is home with me, as we strictly enforce the 24 hour rule with fevers and she has not been fever-free for a full day. I have work to do, but won't put in a full day, as the girl will probably get bored later and will need to be entertained. One thing is certain: We will be listening to classic rock and classic rock only today, as I have the Hannah Fucking Montana soundtrack stuck in my head. I actually woke up with one particular bit of dreck playing in my brain, which is simply unacceptable.

Dancing Queen

2008-02-18T11:04:00.008-05:00

Yesterday, while inflicting the pain of the "Hannah Montana" soundtrack on our ears, Elegant decided to make up some dance moves. She named them all and carefully wrote out a list as she experimented. Some of the names included "The Bumblebee" and "The Stretch" and "The Rock Star." Mostly, the moves involved running back and forth across the living room.

Here's what it looked like from my perspective on the sofa (and I apologize for the music):

In this one, Graceful is reading Elegant's dance list and trying to figure out which move is being demonstrated.

Then Elegant adds some fancier moves.

After a quick wardrobe change, it was time for even fancier moves.

Alas, that was nearly the end of El's amazing bursts of energy yesterday. By dinner, she was running a slight fever. She put her head down on the table and started to doze off. Pete carried her upstairs and, as we were putting her in bed, she calmly commented that she felt like she might vomit, which she did about five seconds later. Luckily, it was only once, but the fever remains and she's definitely low energy today.

February photo 18

2008-02-18T10:58:00.004-05:00

While I love my job and love the flexibility of working at home, what I don't love is sending out large mailings:

This one's not so bad. Just 240 postcards and that's it. I'll be done in an hour or two. I have two much larger mailings going out in two weeks and that's just going to suck. 1,500 envelopes to be printed, postage applied, three or four pieces stuffed into the envelopes, and then sealing all those envelopes (my absolute least favorite part of). Then I get to repeat the process for a second mailing.

Granted, preparing a large mailing is nowhere near as bad as cleaning bed pans or lancing boils or plenty of other jobs. Still, it's mind numbingly dull and it takes a serious amount of self discipline to get the job done in a timely fashion. Listening to good music helps, as does talking on the phone while my hands move of their own accord.

I know, my life is just so exciting.

February photo 17

2008-02-17T12:00:00.004-05:00

Remember when your children were little and they could fit on your lap, with room to spare?

That doesn't work so well here anymore:

But sisterly competition is a fierce thing and can lead to some serious ingenuity.

February photo 16

2008-02-16T11:48:00.005-05:00

Pete's sister gave Elegant a fairy garden kit for Christmas. Does she know my child well or what? We planted it a couple weeks later -- on a rainy Sunday when everything was so bo-rinnnnnng and there was nothing to do, especially not in a house with hundreds of books and thousands upon thousands of little plastic toys, not to mention most of the American Girl Company's output for the past four years.

Elegant had to first paint a little ceramic fairy hut, as well as two ceramic mushrooms. The kit also included fake flowers and leaves, plenty of sparkly rocks (plus more glitter for extra sparkle), plenty of seeds, and even a wee fairy.

We have been planting a few more seeds every week, trying to stretch out the life of this project. We keep it in the big window in our kitchen, which is convenient for daily peeks to see if more seeds have sprouted. Elegant keeps a spray bottle handy for watering her little garden, but she often forgets. Luckily, there's a Garden Fairy in Jenworld who takes care of such matters for the junior gardeners.

Moving

2008-02-15T21:26:00.002-05:00

I'm in the process of changing this blog address to www.jenontheedge.com. If you see wonky things here or can't find me, please be patient. I'll eventually get this shit figured out.

February photo 15

2008-02-15T07:59:00.006-05:00

As I've mentioned here before, I work at home. My official home office is in our basement guest room. It's a pretty compact space, but it's efficiently organized.

Here's the view from the door:

I have three mailings going out in the next two weeks, so I've started organizing my supplies. The line of papers across the futon is the eight pages of a newsletter I'm about to have printed. Every time there's a new draft, I lay the pages out consecutively so that I can see the overall effect. My mother is coming tomorrow, so I'll need to move everything so that I can pull the futon out and make it up. Either that, or she's going to have to sleep with Elegant, which means that no actual sleep would occur.

The red poster on the wall? It says "Keep Calm and Carry On" and is a repro of a British poster from WWII. On the wall above the futon, I've framed various postcards, just a tiny portion of the dozens and dozens (hundreds?) we have collected over the years.

And, across from the futon, the alcove with my desk:

Yep, that's pretty much how things normally look. Today, however, I'm planning to file papers and tidy things up. When guests need the room, I store the rolling file rack under the desk to get it out of the way.

So, that's where I work. Not thrilling, but now you have an idea of where I spend part of my days.

Stealing art? Rescuing a kitten? Finding treasure?

2008-02-14T07:43:00.003-05:00

It's breakfast time here in Jenworld. Bananas, yogurt, chocolate milk, and homemake pancakes. We're listening to an old U2 album and "Mysterious Ways" is playing at this moment, which is appropriate considering the following:

Graceful has compiled another one of her planning lists. This one is "skills she needs to be prepared for anything":

archery (checked)
horse-back riding (checked)
fire-making (checked --WTF?!)
map-memorizing
world history
old-fashioned skills
rope-climbing
agility courses
Morse code

When asked, Graceful admitted that while she has never actually made fire, she's pretty sure she can do it.

As for the rest, I'm not altogether sure what she has planned, but I'm keeping a close eye on her.

February photo 14

2008-02-14T00:02:00.002-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day! The younger females in Jenworld are wild with excitement about today. Duh. V-Day is Halloween, part 2. When did it become almost mandatory for children to hand out candy with their little cardboard greetings to their peers?

In a complete role reversal, Elegant did her cards over a week ago and Graceful waited until the last minute:

That said, G did remain true to form. Please note how her cards are very carefully lined up. What you can't see is the list of names she's using. As each classmate's card was completed, Graceful very neatly marked that person's name off.

As for me, V-Day is a non-event. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. It's just never been a big deal to me (much to Pete's relief). We only recognize it as a holiday of sorts because there are two girls in this house who expect some sort of festivities to go with all that pink and red they'll be wearing today.

How about y'all? Anyone have anything special planned?

Fifty is nifty

2008-02-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to Crazy Aunt Laura!!!!

CAL, do you realize how many different ways one can say your new age? Check it out:

In Roman numerals: L

In pig latin: iftyfay

In German: funfzig

In Lincoln: two score and ten years

Without numbers: a half century

If one were slightly obnoxious: Oh no! Laura is the big five-oh!

If one were a really obnoxious niece: Oh dear gawd, Laura is over the hill.

Not that I would ever say something like that to you. Or about you. Because you are most definitely not over the hill. You are, however, a very groovy, very young aunt, whom I love a great deal. I hope your day is special. Something tells me it will be.

XO,
Jen

February photo 13

2008-02-13T08:34:00.004-05:00

When we were first married, Pete had a variety of different video game systems, which I would list here if I could actually remember what they were. (No need to remind me, Pete.) Some hooked up to the TV and at least one was a handheld thingy. (Such technical terminology, I know.) I would get irritated when Pete would spend an hour or two playing games, because I just didn't get the appeal.

Flash forward to the 21st century. We now have children who are interested in video games. Pete has a Nintendo DS, which I will admit is a pretty slick little package. The girls each got their own version of Nintendogs for Christmas, which they love, and now the other three members of Jenworld have to negotiate who gets to use the one Nintendo DS in our house.

Pete has been playing New Super Mario Brothers lately, which Elegant thinks is just the coolest game ever. If Pete starts playing, it's not long before Elegant joins him to watch. It's almost as good as a movie for her. For me, the best part is watching her. She practically grafts herself to her father and gives him no personal space at all:

February photo 12

2008-02-12T09:06:00.000-05:00

I found the most amazing bee-yoo-tiful SPARKLY sneakers and I had a pretty good idea who in Jenworld might want to wear these:

Unfortunately -- cue sad music here -- the shoes did not fit. In fact, they HURT when the child in question put them on. To quote the child directly, "Isn't that just the saddest thing ever?"

She's right.

I laughed so hard I cried.

2008-02-11T15:29:00.001-05:00

Mrs. G. over at Derfwad Manor is usually a veryveryvery funny blogger who always awes me with her wit and creativity. Today, she has actually outdone herself and has posted what may be one of her Top 5 funniest writings evah.

I totally have a bloggy crush on Mrs. G., just like I do Sarah O. Sorry Sarah, just as in Big Love, you're going to have to share.

My other mini-me

2008-02-11T12:55:00.001-05:00

A number of you have been very kind and complimentary about how Pete and I parent Graceful and Elegant -- two children who have totally different issues and needs. Specifically, how we have supported Elegant's ADHD -- the mini trampoline, for example -- has generated a number of comments from y'all, including from Little Miss Sunshine State , one of my newest bloggy friends, who sent me a couple of absolutely wonderful, terrific, and affirming emails on Saturday that really made my day.

Here's the thing: While Graceful is clearly my mini-me in terms of personality, Elegant is too, just in very different and much less obvious ways. I mean, where do y'all think Elegant gets her ADHD from? Me, that's who.

Pete -- who has known me for two full decades and lived with me nearly all that time -- has been saying for years that he thinks I have undiagnosed ADHD. The joke around here is that I took an online test but never finished it. But it's true.

While my fellow mothers on the school playground may comment on how together I am and how I've organized my house, my schedule, and my life to almost scary levels, the fact is that this level of Martha Stewart-ness is the result of years and years of trial and error. I've had to force myself to become organized and to learn how to channel my inner Martha. Believe me, it didn't come naturally and I have to stay on top of things every single day or else it all falls apart.

In college, I nearly flunked out my first year because I couldn't get my shit together. I had more free time than ever yet my grades were abysmal. Finally, facing academic probation, I got organized. I bought a calendar and carefully scheduled my classes, jobs, and study times. I tracked my homework and papers. One I started organizing myself, I made Dean's List every semester until I graduated. And, I worked three jobs my last year of school while maintaining those grades, thank you very much.

It has taken Pete and me years to hone and refine our particular types organizational methods, including how our desk is organized, how we file papers, and even where we keep supplies. You should see our family calendar, which is fully loaded, with dates already penned in well into the summer. Woe unto Pete if he doesn't write things on the calendar the way I like it done. He WILL hear about it from me. And beyond the family calendar, I have two others -- one for work and one that I keep in my purse. That's three calendars, people.

This need for organization continues even now. You should see my house. The pantry is sorted and I expect everyone in Jenworld to put things where they belong. The fridge is also organized and I'll be damned if I'll allow the yogurt to be on the wrong shelf. I like to have my pots and pans stacked in a certain way and it drives me bat shit crazy if my family doesn't keep the Tupperware cabinet sorted the way I like it.

If my work desk isn't organized, I cannot focus on my job. I just can't. If I have too many projects going on at work or in my life, I get overwhelmed and would shut down completely if I didn't force myself to deal with the situation one step at a time until I have a handle on things. If my house isn't tidy and clean, I get really upset -- ask any of the other three residents of Jenworld -- and storm through the house with the fury of a hurricane until things are to my satisfaction. Because if there's chaos in my house, then there's chaos in my brain and I feel completely out of sorts. It took me years to figure that out and slightly longer for Pete to understand where I was coming from.

And how about my attention span? I think you can guess. Yes, I can hyper-focus on a good book that's 1,200 pages long, but I can also have trouble getting through a 500 word newspaper article. That's pretty normal for folks with ADHD. Conversations that do not interest me are a real struggle. To get through lengthy phone conferences for work, I usually play computer games to help me focus. I bring knitting to PTO meetings. By focusing on an unrelated mindless task, I focus better. I don't know why it works, only that it does.

The hyperactivity part of ADHD? I was so hyper as a kid that my kindergarten teacher hated me -- and I'm not imagining that. She gave off a very distinct not-patient-with-Jennifer's-behavior vibe. I seriously can't believe one of my teachers didn't suggest that I be put on Ritalin, except that it was the 1970s and usually boys were the ones on meds back then. Even now, I occasionally have bursts of energy that I almost can't control.

So when I talk about how we work with Elegant to make sure her needs are met, it's because I understand. I know how her brain works and what she needs. I know that she needs to be organized, even if she doesn't like it when I remind her to hang up her coat, put away her shoes, and empty her backpack. I know that she needs lots of exercise to burn through her energy. I know that she needs a largely organic diet with lots of protein early in the day (for dopamine production -- helps her focus) and that processed foods with lots of additives are no good for her. (Then again, who are they good for?)

So my child, my wonderful terrific amazing fey child, is a creature I understand. I get her. Well, most of the time. She is Elegant, after all.

February photo 11

2008-02-11T09:25:00.000-05:00

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that the females of Jenworld are a creative lot and that we adore art supplies. Letting us loose in the craft store is a dangerous thing, because who knows what we'll find and decide to bring home?

There is a large drawer in our study that contains nothing but writing supplies: markers (Crayola and Sharpies), pencils (plain and colored), pens (a rainbow of colors), and more. Around the corner is a wee closet that has several shelves with various materials, including eleventy billion beads, glitter glues in a rainbow of colors, pom poms, pipe cleaners, and oh-so-much more.

Corralling and organizing all these supplies is an ongoing process. For the assorted pens, pencils, crayons, and markers, we finally hit upon this method:

Cans. The kind that tomato sauce or Ro-Tel come in. I know, very classy. But it works for us and goes with our modern design sensibilities. Best of all, it's basically free, which makes Pete happy. So, really, it's a win-win-win-win situation (One "win" for each member of Jenworld.)

February photo 10

2008-02-10T08:50:00.001-05:00

Today's photo was actually taken by my husband. As he was leaving yesterday to schlep Graceful hither and yon for her Saturday activities -- we divide and conquer on Saturdays and I had drawn the short straw for Elegant's 9 a.m. class -- I handed him the camera and commanded him to get this photo:

Graceful has been riding since she was in kindergarten. She is absolutely animal crazy, but since there's a ban on all non-human creatures in Jenworld, this will have to suffice for her

We love the farm where Graceful rides. It's a real working farm with around 17 hooved creatures -- horses, ponies, donkeys, and mules -- plus cats, bunnies, etc. The owners of the farm are incredibly nice people and they work so hard. They just barely make it financially, but this is what they love, so this is what they do. Graceful's instructor is the teenage daughter, who was 14 when we first met her and is now a senior in high school.

In the photo above, Graceful is riding Rosie, who is a Welsh pony. I think Welshes are the largest of the ponies and really aren't that much smaller than a horse. When Graceful first started riding, she rode a Shetland, which is one of the smallest ponies. She has recently started riding some of the horses, but what she rides from week to week depends on which animals are active that day and which ones are resting.

A very short story with audiovisuals

2008-02-09T07:49:00.000-05:00

See Elegant.

See Elegant jump.

See Elegant jump and dance while listening to Queen:

February photo 9

2008-02-09T00:01:00.001-05:00

Graceful has started reading the second Harry Potter book and is completely totally utterly engrossed:

February photo 8

2008-02-08T07:08:00.000-05:00

For once, today's photo is NOT all about my children or my husband.

I learned to knit only a few years ago. Pete's father and stepmother were visiting one weekend and Pete's stepmother had some knitting with her. I asked if she would teach me and, by the end of the weekend, I had the basics down. This may be one of the greatest gifts my MIL has given me, and that's saying a lot, considering how generous and loving she has been all these years.

Since that time, I have rarely been without a knitting project of some kind or the other. As I've mentioned before, at this point I can only knit squares and rectangles, but I am going to branch out this year. In the meantime, I can do a FIERCE scarf, having knitted so damn many of them.

Currently, I'm working on a scarf for myself and it's a bit different from all the others. I used to do cross stitch, but finally hit my satiety point about ten years ago and I haven't done it since then. I was sorting through my supplies recently and realized that I have loads and loads embroidery floss. Easily a couple hundred different colors. I somehow hit upon the idea of knitting a scarf out of embroidery floss using every single color I posses. Here's what it looks like at this point:

I'm knitting on size 5 needles, which is akin to using cooking skewers, only without the lovely scent of steak. At this point, I have nearly three feet knitted and am planning on this scarf being at least six, possibly even seven or eight feet long. I think it will be great for cool spring days (here and abroad) and it should match with just about anything.

Any of you have any great projects you're working on these days?

I'm speechless, for once

2008-02-07T21:04:00.000-05:00

So, I've been poking around Etsy, looking at all the pretties. While looking at one artist's beads, I clicked on this.

Um...

My brain is simultaneously frozen with shock, but also teeming with questions.

Like, who in the hell thinks of that sort of thing? And, who in the hell thinks glass -- which I'll remind everyone is FRAGILE and therefore BREAKABLE -- is a good idea?

Really, it just boggles the mind.

Just call me Jen

2008-02-07T12:19:00.000-05:00

For you Anglophiles, there's a website where you can get your very own aristocratic title. Since we all know I heart the Mother Country, I decided to check out it.

This was the first attempt:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Her Grace Lady Jennifer the Lush of Lower Beanthrop in the Hedge
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

I'd have to say that "lush" is an apt description of me. But, I can't have a title with only one daughter's name in it and not the other one's.

Let's try again:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Marchioness Jennifer the Tenuous of Withering by the Wold
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

To say I sometimes have a tenuous grip on reality is pushing it, a little. But I do like the sound of Withering by the Wold.

And let's go again:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Reverend Countess Jennifer the Surprised of Lower Bumhampton
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Surprised? Yes. Reverend? I think not.

Another attempt at aristocracy:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Most Noble and Honourable Jennifer the Surprised of Longer Interval
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

I'm just going to say that this has strong sexual overtones and is not something I want to put on a coat of arms for all the world to see.

Let's give it another go, shall we:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Lady Madame Jennifer the Strange of Withering by the Wold
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Yep, that's it. This completes me.

Sen. John McCain called me.

2008-02-07T08:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Senator McCain,

Thank you for your kind phone call yesterday afternoon urging me to vote in the primaries next week. The subtext, I'm sure, was that I should vote for a Republican, preferably you, and not any of the evil Democrats who do not believe in family values, baseball, and apple pie.

When I hung up as soon as you said your name, I wasn't being rude, I was simply trying to save your valuable time, so that you could call another all-Dem household in Virginia and try to sway them over to the Dark Side. Good luck with that. Those of us on the side of All That Is Good tend to scorn you and your kind mightily. Even my children dislike the members of your coven.

Although I will say that, if God forbid we do have another four years of Republican mis-rule, you would be a hell of a lot less scary than some of your other opponents.

So good luck with your campaigning. I hope you lose.

XO,
Jen

February photo 7

2008-02-07T08:48:00.001-05:00

Wednesday night, 7:15 p.m. in Jenworld. This is why we put a multi-user workstation in our study:

Super girls

2008-02-06T09:28:00.000-05:00

Usually when we walk to school, Pete walks and talks with one girl and I walk and talk with the other. When the weather is nice, however, the girls tend to walk together and play some sort of game on the way. Sometimes they're superheros and sometimes they're ... wait, hold that thought ... no, they're almost always superheros. It's just a matter of what kind of superheroes. It's never the ones you see in comic books or movies. They might be superheroes who live and work in the rainforest. Or superheroes who rescue baby animals. Or both. Or, what if they were BABY superheroes? Yeah, that would be so cool.

Anyway, there tend to be a lot of MOVES when the girls are superheroes. Fancy kicks and leaps and death defying stunts (not really). Elegant in particular gets reallyreallyreally into the scenario, which leads to a lot of typically Elegant moves. Remember, this is the child who incorporates her trampoline workouts into her daily art.

Here is a quick 11 second example of what I'm talking about:

Did you see all that jiggling and jumping? Yeah, that's my girl.

February photo 6

2008-02-06T09:23:00.000-05:00

A warm front blew through a couple of days ago and the weather here has been incredible. Knowing that this won't last -- in fact, snow is predicted for Saturday -- we've been taking advantage of it while we can.

The girls are thrilled not to have to dress in layers and today Graceful decided to wear cropped pants. I noticed Elegant looking carefully at her sister, but didn't think anything of it until she asked me to fix her hair just like G's. Both girls are wearing capris, a t-shirt, and a purple sweater. Monkey see, monkey do. Of course, this being El, her wardrobe items are much brighter and more vivid than Graceful's.

Does Matt Damon's wife know how lucky she is?

2008-02-05T12:48:00.001-05:00

Have you seen Sarah Silverman's video with Matt Damon? If you haven't, go over to Country Mouse and take a look, because it's hilarious (and a bit crude, just so you're forewarned).

Losing it -- an update

2008-02-05T10:12:00.001-05:00

I had a good weigh-in this week and posted my progress at Fight the Fluffy today.

February photo 5

2008-02-05T09:55:00.000-05:00

In honor of our dating anniversary, I am posting this photo, which was taken after we'd been together just a couple of months. I don't like it so much for how I look, but I've always loved the look on Pete's face.

We look like babies, we're so damn young.

Why is twenty years called a 'score'?

2008-02-05T09:29:00.000-05:00

Twenty years ago today, Pete and I went on our first date.

Last year, I came up with a list of the 19 reasons why I love my guy. To which I will add:

#20 - He doesn't mind when I talk about him here, even it's something that would embarrass most people.

Appreciation

2008-02-05T07:45:00.000-05:00

Green Girl in Wisconsin has been handing out some love and shared some with me. Thank you Melissa!!!

February photo 4

2008-02-04T09:05:00.001-05:00

Mondays are no fun at all. Wearing a new pink, pink, pink, PINK dress helps.

Monday musings

2008-02-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

Did everyone have a nice weekend?

Mine was great, especially yesterday. The weather was nice and I went for a four mile walk, followed by a whole lot of nothing. Fab.

~

I must be one of 17 people in the U.S. who did not give a rat's hairy diseased ass about that mega sporting event last night. In fact, I can say with complete honesty that I have no idea who played, much less who won, and I am veryveryvery happy in my ignorance.

(No need for anyone to enlighten me here. I'm truly at peace.)

Pete came upstairs from the Jenworld movie theater, where he was watching the game. I asked, "So how's it going?" Followed very quickly by, "Not that I actually care about the game or even know who's playing. I just want to know that you're happy with whatever it is that's going on."

Luckily, he understood what I meant. He's certainly had enough practice trying to figure me out. But, more about that tomorrow.

~

Our town is having a little father/daughter dance this coming weekend. When the girls brought the information home, I scoffed, knowing how much Pete hates to dance. It turns out that he wants to take the girls to the dance, but they don't want to go. Go figure.

~

Two months from today, we'll be on an airplane heading to London!

Yes, I probably will drive you all crazy with my continuous countdown. Just imagine how bad it's going to be when I have eleventy squillion vacation photos to share.

~

Happy Monday everyone!

February photo 3

2008-02-03T00:03:00.000-05:00

The choral group I work for had a concert at a local church last night. It was a wonderful show, with almost all new music for the audience to appreciate.

Here, the guys are rehearsing before the show and the conductor is going over a few fine points with the baritones:

Weeeeee are the champions, my friends....

2008-02-02T12:23:00.000-05:00

Today I've had Queen (the group) on my mind, which is odd, because I don't normally listen to them, nor am I very conversant about their body of work. But there was one song stuck in my head, playing over and over.

I didn't say anything to Pete about this, but I'll be damned if he didn't just turn on the stereo and put in the very CD I was thinking of.

Eery.

Non-fiction

2008-02-02T11:06:00.001-05:00

Once upon a time there was a boy. We'll call him Peter.

Peter loved the Curious George books and even had two Curious George friends of his own: Big George and Little George. Peter loved his Georges and took them everywhere, which would be illustrated here if only digital photos had been invented back in the Stone Age.

Eventually, Peter grew up and had children of his own. Peter's mother gave him Big George, but not Little George, which she kept in her own home. Peter's daughters loved Big George, but as they were still quite little, Big George was a bit difficult for them to carry, so he did not get a lot of love at first.

One day, Peter took his family to the far off land of Texas, where his mother lived. Peter's younger daughter was almost two. The little girl found Little George and immediately claimed him for her own. During that visit, Little George went everywhere with the little girl.

They rode in the car together...

And napped in odd corners together...

And at the end of the trip, the little girl announced that she would be taking Little George home with her on the airplane...

As the little girl got bigger, she also took over the care and loving of Big George. The Georges were important to the little girl and she usually had at least one with her:

As the little girl got bigger, she did not drag the Georges around quite as much. Sometimes the little girl would love other toys, but she always came back to the Georges:

Once, the little girl even shared her Georges with her baby cousin, but only on the condition that he not drool on them:

And even though the little girl is now a big girl at the grand age of seven, she is still a little girl at heart:

And one day she too will grow up and have children of her own, who will probably love the Georges just as much as she does.

The end.

February photo 2

2008-02-02T00:21:00.001-05:00

Graceful finally got to fulfill her Nancy Drew dreams -- she is now taking taekwondo:

Be prepared

2008-02-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

My husband was never a Boy Scout. I find this surprising in light of the following:

We had southwestern food for dinner last night, including salsa and fresh jalapenos. As my husband carried his full plate to the designated eating spot, I noticed that he had something else.

A ginormous bottle of this:

Yep, Tums.

I looked at him quizzically and he said, "This way, I won't have fiery shits tomorrow."

I said, "You know I'm going to blog this, don't you?"

He said, "Go ahead. I'm not ashamed."

And really, I have nothing to add to that.

February photo 1

2008-02-01T10:23:00.000-05:00

Just for kicks, and apparently because I've got nothing better to do, I'm going to post a photo a day during the month of February.

This morning:

A storm roared through last night, dumping copious amounts of freezing rain, ice, and other frozen shit all over Virginia. School opened two hours late today.

Knowing that this would be likely, I told the girls last night that they could luxuriate in bed this morning. I'll be damned if Elegant didn't take full advantage of this opportunity. She wore purple satin pajamas last night and woke up early just to enjoy her morning. Big George and Little George are enjoying themselves too, as they've kicked all the other furry friends aside in order to get the prime reading spot next to El.

Preparations

2008-02-01T00:02:00.000-05:00

When I'm sick with the stomach stuff, there's one absolute everyone here in Jenworld can count on: I will scrub the hell out of my house afterward.

I can spend a solid twelve hours communing with the throne in the master bathroom, absolutely retching my guts inside out, and I can guaran-damn-tee that on the thirteenth hour I will rise like Lazarus from the dead and head for my cleaning supplies. I might still be trembling and weak, but by Xenu I will spend hours scrubbing the confines of Jenworld as if it had formerly been a group home for lepers.

When I'm done, everything will be sanitized within an inch of its life and ready for the next sick person. Because if I fell victim to a stomach bug, then it must be a super germ, and clearly the rest of my family will fall like dominoes, one right after the other.

And I have to say that there is some small comfort in knowing that the toilets I'm depositing my intestinal contents into are clean. One would think that Pete -- the most germ-phobic person I've ever been married to -- would prefer to be sick into a clean toilet, but he's oddly not that particular about that sort of thing. I also like to extend the same courtesy of cleanliness to my children. Not that they'd care; I've trained the girls to vomit into small trash cans and large plastic cups, without spilling a drop. Yes, they are that good.

Luckily, the stomach bug I had on Wednesday didn't involve vomiting. However, I did feel crappish (like that word?) for almost a solid 24 hours, and I have to assume that I managed to share the germy love with my family at some point, which means that someone here in Jenworld is about to get sick.

And I'm ready.

Browsing at Zappos.com

2008-02-01T00:01:00.000-05:00

Friends don't let friends wear fugly shoes like these:
Are we all clear on this?

And, no, they're not labeled as being appropriate for Nurse Cratchit.

Lesson learned

2008-01-31T14:17:00.000-05:00

If any of you ever wants to do something nice for your children or some other loved ones...

... and you decide to make rice krispy treats...

... and you get the notion to use colored marshmallows...

... such as one of those bags of rainbow colored marshmallows that all grocery stores carry...

... you should know that the marshmallows do not keep their pretty colors...

... in fact, the colors run together and create a color that can only be described as "puke"...

... but luckily, the puke look can be more or less concealed with M&Ms...

... lots of them.

Just so you know.

You're welcome.

Adios WW

2008-01-31T12:33:00.000-05:00

And yet more Fluffy this week.

Funny

2008-01-31T09:15:00.000-05:00

One of the blogs that I read -- and I know a lot of you do too -- is Mamarazzi. It's put together by five very funny bloggers. Every time I read a new entry, I am humbled by just how snarky and hilarious these women are. I don't even come close to their cleverness.

Sarah O. did today's post and I highly recommend you go read it. I've never met Sarah but I have a major crush on her and today just sealed the deal. Hopefully, Pete won't mind. Since he's still not kissing me, he's going to have to accept the fact that I might stray.

Good/bad, part 2

2008-01-31T00:02:00.000-05:00

Good: Knock on wood, this appears to be a short-lived bug.

Bad: My cravings for chocolate have returned. :-)

Good/bad

2008-01-30T12:29:00.001-05:00

Bad news: I believe I have a stomach bug. Strike that. I KNOW I have a stomach bug.

Good news: It's not the throwing up kind -- my issues appear to be located mostly in my lower G-I tract. Luckily, I don't feel horrible, just blech.

Bad news: My husband is now refusing to kiss me. That's okay, I'm not in a kissing mood.

Good news: Nor am I in the mood to eat, which means I can't possibly mess up my Weight Watchers points today because as of this moment chocolate and junk food sound vile to me.

Bad news: I have a lot of work to do this week because the glee club has a concert on Saturday.

Good news: I have a laptop and am blogging/working from the comfort of the world's greatest sofa.

Double good news: I now claim the sofa for my own and will not be sharing it.

Triple good news: A nap is definitely in my future.

On the balance, I'd have to say that so far this doesn't suck too much.

Elementary physics

2008-01-30T09:26:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned recently, the third graders have been working on science projects -- basic physics. Yes, in elementary school. I'm beyond impressed. The student had to design either a playground or an obstacle course using six simple machines (lever, pulley, wedge, wheel and axle, screw, and incline) and a compound machine (a combination of at least two simple machines).

After some discussion and online research, Graceful decided to design a playground that has:

a slide,
a merry-go-round,
a water fountain (the handle is the screw),
a play structure with a pulley for hauling up toys,
a seesaw,
a pond with a toy boat with oars (the wedge),
and a roller coaster. Because all playgrounds have roller coasters, right?

She is her father's daughter.

A prayer to the powers that be

2008-01-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

Dear God/Yahweh/Allah/Xenu/the Divine Goddess/Etc.,

Thank you so much for giving me girls. Girls who do not do stuff like this. Stuff that could possibly involve orthopedic surgeons and time spent in traction. Stuff that makes me want to vomit when watching it, because that's someone's baby flying, soaring, and falling.

Because I'm here to tell you that my heart simply cannot handle the stress this would cause me. Really. I will die from worrying.

Yes I know that one day Elegant is going to cause me to go completely gray when she takes up bungee jumping or Olympic trampolining. Or when she joins the circus. Yeah, I'll probably have a stroke over that one.

And yes I know that Graceful is going to be a vet and will have all sorts of furry biting creatures as her patients. And she'll live on a farm with dozens of animals that I'll hate when I come to visit. And she'll marry someone who loves roller coasters just like she does and they'll probably have their wedding ceremony at DisneyWorld and I'll have to spend a fortune on a damn amusement park wedding. That one's definitely going to cause an apoplectic fit.

But if you just spare me for a little longer, I'd really appreciate it. That should give me enough time to stockpile enough pharmaceuticals to get through the inevitable.

Thanks,
Jen

I heart iTunes

2008-01-29T12:47:00.001-05:00

In the past ten minutes:

"All in all it's just a-nother brick in the wall..."

"Sunday, bloody Sunday... Sunday, bloody Sunday..."

"Let me go aw-on, like a blister in the sun. Let me go ooooon. Big hands I know you're the one..."

I should probably spend more time on my job today

2008-01-29T12:29:00.001-05:00

New Fluffy!!! Go check out what I had to say about eating locally and seasonally.

Clueless

2008-01-29T09:22:00.001-05:00

Can someone please explain to me how people -- and by people, I mostly mean women, but also Zack Efron and Marilyn Manson -- seem to know all about makeup and styling hair and whatnot?

This is a serious question.

Why do some women know how to apply makeup and, before that, even what to use? Is this something mothers are supposed to teach their daughters? Is it genetic? Does one have to receive special training? Are all Texas girls taught this when they get their first bras and set their sights on beauty pageant crowns?

Because I am here to tell you that I JUST DON'T GET IT.

For example, all that flesh-toned stuff one is supposed to layer on one's skin, presumably not with a trowel? What's the deal with all that? And the black smudgy stuff around the eyes that makes one look like a raccoon? And the rainbow of colors on one's eyelids? Anyone? Anyone?

And then there are the lips. I'm purely a lip balm kind of female. I have some lipstick if I need it, but I'm never motivated enough to actually wear it. But there are some women (lots, judging by what I see on TV) who wear lipstick AND also outline their lips with some sort of crayon that never ever looks good. Why? Oh, and what's the deal with lip gloss? Why would someone want their lips to shine like Prince Charles' bald spot?

Hair color is another mystery to me. Highlights, lowlights, backlights, and frontlights. Apparently one doesn't just add color. There are multiple steps and processes. It seems so complicated and mysterious. Do all stylists have Ph.Ds in Chemistry?

I've been lucky enough to coast by on my reasonably good (but very pale) skin for all these years. But the little bit of color I have had is fading and I'm going to be ghostly before too long. I'm trying to decide if I care enough to figure all this out or if I'll just keep on as I have all along. I know I could go to a department store and have someone teach me all this stuff, but I have to confess that I'm not all that interested. I wear minimal amounts of makeup and that's about all I have the time and interest for.

*gasp*

Yes, it's true. I confess. Not only am I clueless, I also could not care less about make up and all related topics. If I could get by without wearing any at all, I would in a heart beat.

(At this point, Traci's poor little Texas heart just went into cardiac arrest. Sorry dear.)

Beyond figuring out what it is I should/could be doing, there is the matter of my daughters. You know, those two women-in-training. They're going to need to know all this at some point. I'm thinking I can't just hand them a Teen Cosmo and tell them to figure it out. Elegant is after all the child who's been painting her fingers and toes with SHARPIES for years in order to get the color she so desperately desires. Heaven help us all when she gets her hands on some Clinique or Bobbi Brown. Although now that I think about it, she'll probably figure it all out and then teach me.

So that's today discussion people: Tell me how you figured out the hair/makeup stuff. Feel free to offer advice.

Little bits of Jen's gray matter

2008-01-28T07:32:00.000-05:00

It's the little things that make a difference. It would never have occurred to me to buy bras while shopping for groceries. "Hmm, let's see... We need milk, eggs, Oreos, and three bras." And to know that now I won't be charged more for being more generously endowed, well that makes me want to go to the grocery store while we're in England. Just because I can.

~ ~ ~

Also, I'd just like to point out for the record that Rihanna got her edgy new haircut AFTER the Hair God did the same thing to my very own personal head of hair early last week:

Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not. Just to be certain: Rihanna, I'm going to wear jeans and a black shirt today, so try not to copy me, okay? Thanks!

(Okay, so she's gorgeous and tall and thin and I actually brush my hair out of my eyes. But still, it's essentially the same look.)

~ ~ ~

Graceful has a physics project due this week. Physics, people. The child is in third grade. I'm not even sure I covered this stuff in advanced high school physics. Well, maybe I did but that was a long time ago and it obviously hasn't stayed with me.

I took one look at the assignment and told the girl she was going to have to talk to her father because this was beyond me. The students have learned about simple machines (pulleys, levers, etc.) and have to design a playground or obstacle course using six different simple machines and one compound machine (two simple ones combined).

Someone remind me of this the next time I bitch and moan about public schools not sufficiently challenging the smart students. THIS is homework that I can live with, as opposed to the ridiculous make work the children had last semester.

(And let me just say hello to Graceful's teacher, whom I believe lurks here. Hi! In spite of my griping all year, you are the best teacher we've ever had at the school and we truly appreciate what you do.)

~ ~ ~

Wrapping up a couple of loose ends that no one else but me cares about:

Regarding that neighbor I don't want to help when she pops out yet another child, I haven't actually seen her in a few weeks and probably won't for the foreseeable future. We had some safety concerns about the school bus, so our girls are no longer riding home in the afternoon, which is when I would see that mother. With any luck, I won't actually have to make a decision on whether or not to be a good neighbor. Lame, I know, but I have pledged to be honest here, so honesty is what you get from me.
Last week Pete and I withdrew Elegant's application to the private school we'd applied her to last fall. We had met with the head of the school and were not pleased with how the meeting went. Suffice it to say that the head of school was not overly friendly, nor was this person at all enthusiastic about having our amazing wonderful delightful child at that school. In spite of that, we were strongly encouraged to enroll BOTH of our girls there next year and not wait until the following year on Graceful. Seriously. I was pretty stressed about it, but then the girls brought home their report cards (excellent all around) and we were pleased to see that El's doing well and trying hard in school.

~ ~ ~

Finally, I had my weigh in to day and I have no idea what my true weight is. I stepped on the scales, looked down and saw the number. I stepped off and realized that I wasn't 100% certain about what I saw, so I got on again. The second number was different from the first. So I weighed myself a third time. Different number. All within two minutes. WTF?! So I'm taking the middle number and going with it.

It must be Monday.

Pay it forward -- the results

2008-01-26T19:12:00.000-05:00

The Pay it Forward results are in!

Most people would have just done the drawing and announced the results. Some people might even have taken photos of the process. Here in Jenworld, however, in order to prove the absolute randomness of our drawing, we recorded it for everyone's benefit.

Check it out:

(Why yes I do hate how my voice sounds, because I really don't think that's what I sound like in real life. Plus I'm not usually so, um, jolly.)

Congratulations Traci Anne, Lisa, and Josie!!!!

(You would not believe how much Elegant loves watching this video, which she has done about five times so far...)

One would think I live a glamorous life. One would be wrong.

2008-01-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

I haven't been that into memes lately. Been there, done that. But this one at Sarah O.'s blog really intrigued me. It's the Seven Famous People I've Met meme:

Kurt Vonnegut -- Don't ask me why, but he was in the Roanoke, Virginia airport one day in the mid-1980s. Some friends and I were there seeing off some exchange students and spotted the literary great and spoke with him briefly.
John Grisham -- He lives around here and buys food at some of the same places I do. I haven't actually met him; however, I have seen him with my very own eyes and I have spoken with his wife a couple of times and she is an absolutely lovely, gorgeous, gracious woman.
Jan Karon -- Another famous author who lives in my town. I heard her speak several years ago and she was so very entertaining. At the reception afterward, she made a point to shake hands with each person and look us in the eye while asking questions about us.
Sissy Spacek -- This lovely actress lives here in my town. Technically, I haven't officially met her, but I have bumped into her a couple of times. The first was about 15-16 years ago, when she was shopping at the same grocery store. At the time, she had a small child on her hip. More recently, I saw her downtown with her family, including her daughter Schuyler Fisk (another actress).
Brooke Shields -- When I was in junior high, my language class went to Washington, DC for a long weekend. To us, this was the epitome of sophistication and culture. I think that tells you what a provincial group of kids we were. While in the Big City, we visited the Kennedy Center, where they were taping one of Bob Hope's all-star shows. Brooke Shields came out of the building and we swarmed her like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat. Poor girl never stood a chance. Not long after, Christie Brinkley came out, saw the crowd, and escaped through another door.
Fawn Hall -- A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I was a guide at Monticello. During the first summer I worked there, Fawn Hall of Iran Contra fame came through on a tour. We guides debated whether or not we should offer her a special tour of the house, but decided against it, as her so-called fame was based on some rather non-Jeffersonian principals. Also that summer, Robin Williams visited, but I didn't get to meet him. Nor did I get to meet the Crown Prince (now king) of Jordan.
Denny Hamlin -- For those of you not familiar with NASCAR, Denny is apparently a huge star and one of the best drivers out there. I, however, am not in the know about these things, but I did meet him at OUR grandfather's funeral last fall. Yes, you read that correctly. I don't feel like repeating the whole story, so the relevant links are here and here.

You wouldn't believe how many famous people live here in my town. For example, Pete has run into Howie Long, who is by all accounts just a ginormous man in real life. (I know, I know, he'd have to be if he played professional football.) I know loads of people who either know or are actually related to the various members of Dave Matthews Band, including two of my neighbors. Julian Bond (the civil rights activist), Rita Dove, and Rita Mae Brown are all local. Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard used to live here, but moved years ago. The Rock has recently bought a house here.

Pete told me to add Billy Wagner, who is apparently a Major League Baseball player, but I wouldn't know if him I tripped over him. Well hell, if we're going to add athletes, let's not forget the famous ones who attended the not-too-shabby university down the road: Tiki Barber and Ronde Barber (who grew up in the same part of Virginia as me), Herman Moore (football), John Harkes (soccer; we were in some history classes together), James Farrior (football) ... the list goes on. And while we're on the subject of the university, other alumni include Katie Couric, Tina Fey, various Kennedys, and more. The village idiot who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC, has a daughter getting married this summer and the bridegroom is a student at the graduate business school, but he doesn't really count as someone famous, so I'm not putting his name in boldface. Also, I can't remember his name. And, he's most likely of the same political persuasion as his mentally deficient future FIL, so now he really doesn't count in my book.

Then there are the former presidents: Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe. Oh, and Lafayette once visited and stayed a number of nights; not that he was ever president but I think he counts as famous. I guess that's going back a bit far.

Yeah, this list could go on and on for while. It's a surprisingly high number, given that there are only 40,000 residents in town and another 85,000 in the surrounding county.

If anyone feels like doing this meme, consider yourself tagged.

Cold mornings, spring gardening, a moody daughter, etc.

2008-01-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

The Pay it Forward drawing will be this weekend and I'll announce winners whenever I get around to it, which will probably be sooner rather than later.

~ ~ ~

It was 12 degrees Farenheit when we walked the girls to school this morning. Elegant dealt with the cold by burrowing into her coat, so that only her eyeballs were visible. Her hands were shoved deeply into her pockets, so I linked my arm through hers and essentially led her to school.

Whenever she spoke, all I heard was, "Mmmphmmph..."

"What was that you said?"

"I SAID 'Why does it have to be so cold?' Can't you hear me?!"

~ ~ ~

After drop-off, Pete headed home and I went on a brisk loop through the neighborhood. When I got home, my husband had a sunny-side-up egg waiting for me, which I supplemented with piping hot oatmeal (plain -- flavored with raisins, cinnamon, and a few drops of maple syrup). Yum.

~ ~ ~

I'm just pleased I managed to make it through my walk today without injuring myself. Yesterday, I fell again. I was talking to Pete as we headed home, which meant that I wasn't paying attention to anything else. I didn't see the rock on the sidewalk until I was down on the ground and could get a really close look at it. Not only did I rip open the same knee that took weeks to heal last fall, I also ruined my pants. Not such a big deal, except that I don't have that many pants that fit me right now and I'm not in the market to buy pants I'm not going to wear for long. Grrr...

(And yes Mom, I'm fine.)

Pete suggested that I not only patch the pants and continue to wear them, but that I should get some fun colorful patches. I thought it was a marvelous idea and bought the necessary supplies yesterday. I might never wear these pants in public again, but they'll be fine for hanging out in Jenworld.

~ ~ ~

To make myself feel better, I went to Tar-zhay yesterday. I was actually there to stock up on various supplies, but somehow or the other, a couple pairs of fun socks ended up in my shopping cart. And some new pants. I also got a new bag, which was totally serendipitous. I usually carry a black messenger bag, but it's a little too large, so I've been thinking about getting a smaller one. Color me happy when I found an absolutely perfectly-sized black messenger bag hidden amongst the man purses in the men's department. I thought it was on sale for $13, but it was actually marked down to less than $4! As far as I'm concerned, this good karma totally evens out the earlier bad karma with my knee and pants.

~ ~ ~

The resident nine-year-old was moody and weepy again last night. The best I can tell, her world is absolutely perfect -- her report card yesterday was stellar, her friends adore her, and things are generally going well. Mother Nature has blessed this child with beauty, intelligence, and many other attributes. Apparently Mother "I'm a Bitch" Nature has decided that teenage angst will be starting NOW, years before the child is actually a teenager.

My mother can confirm or deny this, but I swear I don't remember being like this almost 30 years ago. Then again, it was almost 30 years ago and my memory is admittedly fuzzy.

If the girl's moodiness continues, I'm going to get mother-daughter prescriptions for Valium for her 10th birthday.

~ ~ ~

The gardening bug has bitten me. What is it, one month into winter, with two months to go? Two nights ago, I started sketching ideas for what I'm going to do in the gardens this spring (rip out boxwoods, add more lavender plants, plant strawberries). Last night, I emailed a local nursery to ask questions about some of the plants I'm thinking of adding to the edible gardens this year. I also ordered seeds -- a full three months before I'll be planting. Clearly I need to get a grip.

~ ~ ~

That's all I've got today. No humor, just the random musings of my brain.

Does anyone have any great plans this weekend?

I'm 38, not 57

2008-01-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

Where in the bloody hell did these crow's feet come from? I swear they weren't there last week.

Genetics

2008-01-24T13:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Graceful and Elegant,

When you were born, your father and I, and all our relatives and friends, eagerly looked you over carefully to see who you resembled. All people do that when they meet babies, and it's not just to make sure they don't look like the mail carrier or the pool boy. DNA is a crap shoot and one never knows what great or horrible or crazy combinations will occur, so it's infinitely interesting to see whom babies resemble.

As you go through life, you will surely look at some body part or behavioral trait of yours and either wonder where it came from or blame the responsible parent. With any luck, you'll also thank us on occasion for the good stuff we gave you. And there's plenty of good stuff, so I am expecting some appreciation at some point.

In order to assign credit and blame properly, here is a partial list to get you started:

Graceful, you can thank me for your creamy British complexion. You can also thank or curse me for the fact that you will never ever have a tan and will only burn. (But I hope not, because I know for certain that I have impressed upon you the importance of SPF-45.) Daddy gets the thanks for your thick golden hair and blue eyes. Oddly, your thick black eyelashes come from my side of the family, but my sister got them, not me. Oh, and your perfectly arched eyebrows? All me, sweetheart. You'll thank me later on when you don't have to start waxing.

Elegant, you can thank me for your glorious brown hair and your green eyes. The wildness of said hair, however, can be pinned directly on your father. You've never seen his hair longer than a crewcut, but trust me that it's out of control when it's longer, and your crazy bedhead is directly attributable to him.

Girls, you can both thank I-don't-know-who for your height. As Daddy and I are the runts of our respective family litters, I really can't say which side contributed. All of Daddy's and my brothers range in the 5' 11" - 6'1" range, so apparently they got the tall genes. Lucky bastards. Current predictions are that you'll easily blow past my paltry 5'3". Enjoy your eventual height, damn it.

Graceful, you are a morning person and that comes from me. You're welcome.

Elegant, it's likely you'll never be a morning person. If this becomes a problem later in life, feel free to call your father at 7 a.m. and talk to him about it.

Graceful, your musical abilities come from me and I'm sorry. You will never be able to carry a tune. Accept this and develop another talent. Your repeated attempts to loudly sing opera are just not working.

Elegant, your energy levels come from me. Channel this gift well, as it will help you throughout life. You won't need caffeine, let me assure you. And actually, the thought of you with caffeine coursing through your veins scares the bejesus out of me.

Girls, any math and science skills you have come from your father. If one of you ends up as an astronaut, remember to thank your father from outer space. However, if one of you ends up an archaeologist or historian, that's all me and I'd appreciate a shout-out when you make some stupendous discovery in a far off land.

Girls, unfortunately, I passed on to both of you the legacy of migraines and I am truly deeply sorry. All the women in my family get them. One day, you'll be minding your own business when your head will start to feel odd. The pain will increase and eventually will intensify to the point that it feels as though your skull will explode and your eyeballs will shoot across the room and splat against the wall. You'll feel nauseous and will be sensitive to light, smells, and sound. When the time comes, I promise to get you the medical help you need, but there's no escaping this. I can only say that it's a good excuse to take a nap.

I think that's a good starter list for you. Feel free to keep this handy and to highlight all the parts where I deserve praise and admiration.

Love,
Mommy

Excusez-moi

2008-01-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

One of the many great things about Elegant's shorter hair (a bob that grazes her jaw), is how cute the back of her neck is.

She is currently working at the kitchen table and, as I walked by a few minutes ago, I couldn't resist kissing the back of her neck. She is, after all, my adorable seven-year-old.

Elegant, with a deeply furrowed brow and irritated voice, said, "Mommy! Don't you think that if I don't like it when Daddy kisses my neck, that I also don't like it when you do!?!?"

Well, excuuuuuuuuuuse me.

Brilliant

2008-01-23T13:26:00.000-05:00

We've all seen that psychotic Tom Cruise scien-cult-ology clip, right? Well, Jerry O'Connell has done a fucking awesome spoof on it. Check it out either at Mamarazzi or at the Guider's blog.

I get by with a little help from my friends*

2008-01-23T09:56:00.001-05:00

I have decided that you, my bloggy friends, are truly wonderful people. Well, okay, I've long since known that, but my appreciation increased recently.

To wit:

A couple weeks ago, I expressed concern about potentially being gang pressed into helping a neighbor that I don't particularly want to help. Y'all came through with some great advice.
Yesterday, I was feeling a bit down about losing motivation in my continuing quest to get to a healthy weight. Your comments were really supportive and helped me regain some of my positive attitude.
The Guider has been invaluable as we've planned our trip to England. She's researched hotels, suggested about places to visit, and answered a number of my questions. I was already eager to meet her, but now I really can't wait.
I've been having a problem with dry flaky irritated skin around my eyes this winter -- more so than I usually do. Since Traci has a beauty blog, I emailed her with a plea for advice. She did some research and got back to me with some suggestions, which I will be implementing this week.
Our dishwasher died a long, slow death. It took months, as vital organs died one-by-one. Pete would tinker with it and either things would or would not improve. We called in outside help, which confirmed that our dishwasher was dying and we should put it out of its misery. I was ready to take a sledge hammer to it, but Pete tried more life support, to no avail. We agreed to pull the plug. Then, Pete dithered on what to purchase, so I emailed Marijean, who's an appliance guru, and asked for guidance. She came through with suggestions, which Pete acted on last week, and some guys are here installing the new appliance as I type. (No Mj, I don't know what it is. Only that it's white, it's a Sears something-or-the-other, and it cost slightly less than one sale-priced Virgin Atlantic ticket to London.)

So you, my friends, rock. Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful comments and general friendship.

About the dishwasher. I have to tell you that these are the quietest workers evereverever. Seriously. They're not talking and their tools are making only muted noises. I swear, it's like they're Scientologists during a silent labor and delivery, only without the crazy. Amazing.

Finally, one more thing about the upcoming trip: I walked into the study last night, to find my husband looking at a website that looked suspiciously like he was planning to visit a British amusement park. I reminded him that amusement parks are not part of the approved itinerary. Specifically, he was looking at info on the London Dungeon, which we both agree we are most definitely not visiting. But! The website is rather amusing, especially this list of rides. I thought the U.S. was the world leader in amusement concepts, but I'm going to have to tip my hat to the Brits. Where else, I ask you, can you relive the London Fire of 1666, pretend to be a prostitute stalked by Jack the Ripper, AND experience the Great Plague of 1665, complete with boils? Pure genius, I tell you.

We're still not going.

* With thanks to the Fab Four.

Ear worm

2008-01-23T07:48:00.000-05:00

It is NOT a good thing that I woke up this morning with a Styx song stuck in my head. It doesn't matter which one; they're all equally shiteous.

Update: Pete is working at home today and we're listening to iTunes. The last three songs we've heard are "Cocaine" by Eric Clapton, "Blackbird" by the Beatles, and "P0rn0graphy" by the Cure. I think I'm going to be okay.

New Fluffy!

2008-01-22T09:34:00.000-05:00

I posted over at Fight the Fluffy today and would love it if anyone has any suggestions to improve my attitude.

A true story

2008-01-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, there was an aunt. We'll call her Aunt Jen.

Aunt Jen had a nephew -- a boy whom she loved a great deal. Possibly even an eensy weensy bit more than her other nephews.

This boy was a baby, less than a year old, and growing and changing every day. So when Aunt Jen realized that it was January 21 and she hadn't seen the boy in FOUR WHOLE WEEKS, she took matters into her own capable hands and went on a road trip to a city an hour away.

It turns out that the boy had indeed changed greatly in the preceding 27 days.

He was cuter:

... and friendlier:

... and loved his cousins even more:

... and just so damn cute that we're going to have a real problem on our hands when he's older and learns how to milk it more than he already does:

However, some things never change.

No matter how much a boy grows, he still needs his sleep:

So Aunt Jen got her baby fix and things were better.

The end.

P.S. to relatives and others who need more of a Micah fix: VIDEOS!

This one's only 17 seconds. Ignore the chitchat in the background. Just watch the boy. He does a subtle little dance to his toy's music. Then, he notices the camera...

Here's an 11 second bit of Micah walking with the aid of a toy and boy is he ever so pleased with himself:

Pay it forward

2008-01-21T08:56:00.000-05:00

I got to participate in Flutterby's Pay It Forward post and lookedy look look at what she sent:

Every bit of this package was pretty.

Ta da!

She sent another string of beads for my kitchen window!!! And do you remember those birds my girls and I think are so cute? Flutterby sent us four of those. And a bracelet for each girl and also a cute little candle for me. (Well, maybe it's for Pete, but I'm not sharing.)

THANK YOU FLUTTERBY!!!

Now it's time for me to pay it forward. Since Flutterby has set the bar so high, I have my work cut out for me, but I think I can handle the pressure. Without going into too much detail, I will say only that my box o' wonder will contain a combination of Etsy stuff (by a local artist) and local yummies. My fellow females in Jenworld will also be involved in the wrapping and packing. And you haven't lived until you've received a package that my girls have helped put together and decorate. Lots and lots of ribbons. Loads o' stickers. All the colors of the rainbow.

If you want to participate and are willing to pay it forward to three bloggers, please leave a comment here by the end of Thursday (Virginia time -- same as NYC and Washington, DC). Feel free to tell me how much you heart me and/or the other residents of Jenworld, although sucking up is not necessary since this will be a random drawing. Also, if you don't like gourmet chocolate, you might want to mention that in your comment too.

My assistants and I will choose three names out of a pretty hat and announce the winners shortly thereafter.

I'm dreading five years from now

2008-01-20T11:42:00.000-05:00

If I didn't know better, I'd say my nine-year-old is totally PMS-ing. She's been grumpy as hell all morning, burst into tears over nothing, and has since locked herself in her room. No, I have no idea why. Is it a full moon?

Update: She's in a much better mood now. Finally came out around noon, smiling. All has been normal since then. Go figure.

It was 18 degrees when I went for a walk this morning

2008-01-20T11:19:00.000-05:00

This morning:

"Elegant, why don't you make your bed, so that your room will look nice when your friend comes over."

"Okay Mommy."

Five minutes later:

"All done."

This is what I found:

At least her dolls are warm.

A compromise was reached:

Jumping

2008-01-19T17:02:00.000-05:00

Have I got a treat for everyone!

Elegant got a mini trampoline for her last birthday, which she keeps by her easel for her aerobic art. I finally grabbed a 30 second clip of Elegant jumping + creating:

She used to just jump and jump and jump and jump and jump, but now she's added that thing where she lands on her knees, so now it's jump jump knees, jump jump knees. It makes me cringe just to watch, but it doesn't seem to bother her a bit.

And can you hear how loud she is? My work office is in the room just below. Imagine what it sounds like down there. Yep, it's loud.

Pete was looking at the trampoline recently and realized that it's not as taut as it was four months ago. No kidding. Elegant has jumped on it every single day since she got it and each jumping session can last an hour or two or more.

And now she's back at it again...

Bliss

2008-01-19T10:56:00.001-05:00

Things that make me happy on a cold Saturday morning:

A great walk -- This morning I dropped Elegant off at a class at the university and then went for a wonderful three mile walk through academic buildings, old houses, and more.
Mom Caffeine -- A bottle is 200 calories, but I pour HALF of one into a nice mug and enjoy it while I blog.
Led Zeppelin (Sarah O., this is for you) -- I never listened to them when I was in high school. Pete introduced me in college, but I'd have to say that my deep appreciation didn't begin until recently, like last week. Blasphemy, I know. I'm working hard to redeem myself.
New yarn -- I have a couple of knitting projects in progress right now and am pleased how they're turning out.
Great jeans -- The new jeans I bought last month are no longer too tight. They feel good and I like how they look. That said, I can't wait until they're too big for me.
My new blog spot -- I am just so damn happy with how everything looks and how the space functions.
My e-friends -- I can't tell you how much pleasure I receive from your comments and your emails. Your blogs are always interesting and I've learned so much from all of you in the past year. I love how I'm finally going to meet the Guider in England and April and how my girls get to attend a Brownie meeting with the Guider's daughter.
England -- Duh. I am still so damn excited about this trip, but y'all knew that already.

Is anyone else out there feeling happy and at peace today?

Huh?

2008-01-18T08:45:00.001-05:00

I just heard Elegant say, "I'll get you my pretty. And your little dog too."

The girls have never ever seen "The Wizard of Oz."

Snow

2008-01-18T08:27:00.000-05:00

We ended up getting about four inches of snow yesterday. School was closed early.

(No snickering from the Vikings and the Cannucks.)

As we were leaving to pick up the girls at 11:00, Pete grabbed a sled. I thought it was so that the girls could have fun on the way home. I was wrong:

At the top of our driveway...

... and the bottom right after I jumped out of the way.

And then again a couple blocks later.

No, he's not a big kid at all.

We gathered our children and they got a ride across the playground:

And then we stopped by the big sledding hill next to the playground:

The girls weren't dressed for snow at all, other than their boots, which we had brought with us. They were troopers in spite of being very wet and cold.

The man of the house was kind enough to offer rides part of the way home:

The girls once saw a trailer for the Simpsons movie, which included a scene with Homer and some sled dogs. They thought it was hilarious and yelled, "Mush! Mush" to make Pete go faster.

We peeled off wet coats, gloves, boots, etc. Graceful immediately took a hot shower and put on warm PJs. Elegant put on snow clothes and went back outside:

It takes a big leap...

... to make a snow angel.

No, she's not cute at all:

The rest of the afternoon was quiet. Pete and I worked and the girls played. We wanted comfort food for dinner and decided on tacos. I baked chocolate chip cookies for dessert. By dinner, we knew that school would be opening two hours late today, so Pete and the girls watched a movie, while I did other things.

Since it's Friday and cold and snowy out, I'd love to stay in my PJs and do nothing. Alas, that won't be happening. I have several hours of work to knock off, plus my in-laws are driving down from the northeast, so I have to do some cleaning. Oh, and we have MASSIVE piles of recycling that I'm going to have to load into the van and take to the recycling center. In the snow, natch.

The blog spot (a.k.a. #19)

2008-01-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

Even though I could talktalktalk this morning about Merrie Olde England and how excited we all are about this trip and how many emails Guider and I have exchanged, instead I will bore you with something else.

Remember how I promised y'all some photos of the work we've been doing on our study? This is the very same project that involved a road trip to the Mother Ship and numerous maddening trips to the hardware store. We're not completely done yet, but mostly are. The cussing is done, which should give you a sense of where we are with this.

I used to blog at this desk in this corner of our study:

You like the invisible computer and the invisible piles of stuff?

Now that corner of the room looks like this:

This chair is temporary until we find the Perfect Chair. Unfortunately, what we each want is not the same thing at all, so we're having a difficult time finding something that pleases both of us. Alas, our little town is not exactly known for having swell mod furniture, so we'll probably have to do some online shopping and/or make a road trip to a Big City. Given how much we just spent on airline tickets, I'm not sure how quickly we'll be investing in the Perfect Chair.

Also, we need a lamp, but that's a minor detail. Oh, and those curtains have to go. And, while that little table is empty of stuff now, I'm sure it will have a pile of crapola soon enough. Actually, I just looked behind me and it already does. Damn, that was fast.

About that map: It was Pete's when he was a kid and used to be in his mother's classroom when she taught. It's very popular with our girls because it's a relief map and they like to not only see places they've visited but also feel them. Grandma's house in Houston is smooth, but the grandparents' house in Virginia is bumpy. The map frame used to be a shiteous brown, but last summer I covered the brown with a nice glossy black, which vastly improved it.

On another wall in our study, this is what we spent so damn long constructing:

We have only one computer set up now, and we're still sorting through papers and organizing our shit, but you get the general idea.

I really cannot believe Pete hasn't said anything to me about my cobalt glass collection on top of the cabinets, because I figured he'd balk over that one. I guess his silence is implicit approval and possibly even enthusiastic permission to find more cobalt bottles. The glass looks freaking awesome when the morning sun shines through the window.

Oh, and if you ever get the insane idea to buy some IKEA! kitchen cabinets and install them yourself, let me assure you this part of the project was a real pain in the ass and is what caused the most cussing. Consumer Reports loves IKEA! cabinets and swore they were easy to install. Given that we're pretty handy and that IKEA! stuff is meant to be assembled by people who are not necessarily good with tools (or even own tools), we assumed this part of the project would be a walk in the park. We assumed wrong.

Here, let me move around the room so that you see my blogging spot better:

So this is where I blog. When you read my posts, imagine me sitting here, typing fast and furious, usually with Mommy Caffeine next to me. (Due to the calories, I have only half a bottle a day. There's only so much a girl can give up, people.)

Can you see my inspiration board on the wall? I originally hung it in the living room, but it didn't look right there, so it's now next to my computer, where I can look at it and ponder. It's mostly covered with family photos, but the bottom quarter has pictures I've pulled from magazines -- things that inspire me, projects I want to try, ideas that should scare the bejesus out of Pete, etc.

And that's all I have this morning. It started snowing just before we walked the girls to school and the snow is really coming down. There's only a few inches on the ground at this point, but this being Virginia, all the school systems are freaking out and schools are either closed already or are closing early. Pete's working from home today and we're getting the girls from school at 11:00. Oh no, there won't be much wild excitement here this afternoon. Or cocoa and marshmallows. Or possibly even cookies.

Anglophilia, Willy Wonka, Monty Python's castle, and other travel musings

2008-01-16T09:13:00.000-05:00

We're still on an Anglo High here in Jenworld. We'll eventually calm down, but for now we're just so damn excited about going to England in April. I was so jazzed yesterday that I could hardly focus on work. Even the girls are pumped -- all of their Barbies now have British accents.

Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions, either via comments or emails. Y'all have some great ideas and I appreciate your sharing them. Feel free to keep 'em coming. Oh, and Green Girl in Wisconsin? Thanks for the guide book recommendation. I went to Barnes & Noble today and got a copy. Not only will it be helpful with trip planning, but since it weighs about 17 pounds, I can use it to help weigh down my suitcase lid when I'm trying to zip it shut.

To those of you who waxed poetic about how romantic London will be in April, here's my question for you: Have you ever traveled with children? Seriously. There is no romance in sharing a hotel room with the kidlets for ten days straight. Yes, we could get a suite, which is what we do when we travel domestically, but the fact is we'll be in one of the most expensive cities on the planet, so we won't be getting a suite at the Ritz or even at the Dew Drop Inn. We will very likely be getting a basic room at a B&B and paying an arm and a leg AND a boob for it.

Guess what amazing thing we discovered last night? (And Guider, I cannot believe you didn't mention this to me already. I thought we were friends.)

Cadbury World

That's right people. A factory tour of my favorite British chocolate company. This could very well be the thing that helps us decide on going to the Cotswolds instead of York. I know, I know, it's probably a tourist trap and not all that great. Who cares? It can't possibly be as lame as Hershey's so-called factory tour and, even if it is, Cadbury World has the largest retail shop of Cadbury's products in the world, so I'm totally good with that.

When I told Elegant about Cadbury World, she mused that it would be just like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Only, without Willy Wonka. And no creepy Oompa Loompas. And no missing children. But, just the same, otherwise.

I asked Pete if he wanted to go to Legoland Windsor. You know, my husband, a.k.a. Mr. Amusement Park. The very same guy who was in Orlando one week ago today. Do you want to want to know what he said? "Eh, I don't know. Maybe." Clearly, something is off kilter in the universe today.

When I woke up this morning, I naturally started thinking about this trip. But then my thoughts wandered and I started remembering some of the most beautiful places I've ever seen:

Milford Sound in New Zealand -- The drive there was gorgeous (you've probably seen it in some Mazda ads on TV) and then our tour of the sound was even more stunning.
Oak Creek Canyon in Arizona -- Between Sedona and Flagstaff. This is one of the greatest drives we've ever had.
Castle Stalker in Loch Laich in Scotland. It's a teeny tiny castle on a teeny tiny island IN the loch. (Also featured in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" -- something every person should be familiar with.)
Closer to home, one of the reasons we live in Virginia is the Blue Ridge Mountains. I grew up having mountain views around me and life without them would not be possible.
There's a beach near Santa Barbara that is my favorite beach ever. Towering cliffs separate the beach from the mainland and give the area a cozy, protected feeling. The beach itself has the most abundant offerings of shells, rocks, sea glass, and driftwood. And the Channel Islands are 40 miles off in the distance, but look much closer.

But I want to hear from y'all. Where have you been that was so beautiful it took your breah away?

Elegant wants to have tea with the Queen

2008-01-15T08:14:00.000-05:00

Before you read any further, you should really go read this post so as to fully appreciate what I'm about to say. Trust me on this one. I'll wait here until you come back.

You're back? Good, because here's what I have to say:

WE BOUGHT FOUR PLANE TICKETS TO LONDON!!!

No, we're not excited at all. We don't have a stack of guide books and two maps of London on our coffee table, with three more books expected in today's mail. No, I haven't compiled a packing list for a trip that's more than two months away. Graceful has most certainly not been reading a guide book, nor has she asked to ride a double decker bus. Elegant hasn't been walking around perfecting her British accent. And we definitely didn't talk about the trip while we walked to school this morning.

We're all perfectly calm about it all.

When the girls went to bed last night, they knew that this trip was a possibility. Pete was still working on our airfare, so things weren't set yet. When I woke the girls this morning, I told them that we'd bought the tickets.

Elegant asked, "So are we really going?"

I said, "Unless something comes up." (Thinking of my father's iffy health.)

Elegant said, "You mean, like the circus?!?"

Graceful is already thinking about what she's going to pack -- she is SO MUCH like me.

We don't have a definite itinerary yet, only a vague plan to spend a large chunk of time in London, with a day trip to Oxford to see friends who are on sabbatical there. We've talked about going up to York, which we love, but we've also talked about heading the other direction to the Cotswolds and then on to Shakespeare Country. (Guider, I'll email you about this.)

So anyway, lots of exciting things for us to think about!

Now we just all have to be patient until April. Sigh.

I am neither preppy nor tanned

2008-01-14T08:35:00.000-05:00

The spring Lilly Pulitzer catalog came in the mail this weekend -- a Jenworld first. I was so flabbergasted by the arrival of this catalog that I had to discuss it with Pete to figure why in the hell the people at Lilly Corporate HQ thought I would be their target audience.

Anyone who knows me, knows that Lilly Pulitzer is not my look, nor is it within my budget. I do not wear pink, I definitely do not wear floral prints, and I most certainly do not spend hundreds of dollars on a pink floral dress I won't ever wear. I wear black. Lots of it. I'm not even sure that the people at Lilly are aware of black as a wardrobe color.

I did look through the catalog and was strangely fascinated by the lifestyle portrayed therein. There were lots of young, thin, tanned people. I doubt any model was older than 28. So I'm guessing the Lilly demographic is rich young people. Judging by some of the mother/daughter outfits, some of those rich young people have children -- adorable children who don't get dirty.

I'm going to insult some specific Lilly clothes now. If you are a Lilly fan, this is not directed at you and is not meant as an indictment of your wardrobe choices. Brightly colored shift dresses look adorable on other women, but not me. Also, $298 for a cotton summer dress is not happening here in Jenworld.

Typical Lilly:

And some scary Lilly:

Are they shitting me? Who wears this? The witchy grandma from "Bewitched"?

This isn't so bad:

Still, the day I wear this is the day that Hell has indeed frozen over or Camilla has become Queen of England.

Even in navy blue, I can't imagine wearing this:
If it makes the mannequin look chunky, then imagine how it would look on me.

I looked at the pants too, since that's what I prefer over dresses:

All I can say is: Cher circa 1973.

Pete and I got a good laugh out of the Lilly men's clothing:

The men who wear these clothes are not afraid to wear pink and green pants, pastel blazers, and shoes without socks. They are also not afraid to use gel in their hair. Seriously, when did the "Miami Vice" look come back?

It is actually possible that there will soon be some Lilly in Jenworld. Elegant would love to be a Lilly girl. She has owned exactly one Lilly skort in her life and that's because I found one for an amazing price at a consignment shop a couple of years ago. The girl loved the hell out of that skort. So much so that I am now searching eBay for more Lilly for Elegant. I may not personally want to wear all that pink and green, but I can certainly help a seven-year-old out. The big question is: Will be I creating a cute little monster who will only dress like she lives in Palm Beach?

I can seriously picture Elegant in this:

It's $68. She won't be wearing it, unless I can find it for significantly less on eBay.

This is Elegant and her friends in 15 years:

The girl in the middle needs to do something about those tan lines. The girl on the far right obviously has a very heavy brain that causes her to hunch forward like that.

And here's Elegant's wedding in 20 years:

Can you imagine the mother-of-the-bride outfit? I am in deep trouble. And poor Pete is going to have to wear one of those Miami Vice outfits. Damn, we'd better start saving our money and working on our tans now.

I don't know if Graceful is a Lilly girl or not. While she wouldn't go near the dresses or the skorts, I think it's possible she might like the shorts or capri pants.

That's all the snark I can summon for Lilly at this moment. I'm going to go dress myself in all black and get busy with what needs to be done. There's no school, as it's a teacher work day. I'm going to gang press the girls into helping me with a small mailing for work, with the promise of a pilgrimage to Tar-zhay afterward.

Happy Monday everyone!

Jen on the Edge

Moving

What a bummer.

At least she's honest

A shameful confession

Such a shame

The return of Ivana Goldtooth

It's here!

February photo 29 -- Going out with a bang

A new favorite -- song and TVshow

February photo 28 -- The play's the thing

February photo 27

Normally I like guys with blonde hair and blue eyes

February photo 26

February photo 25

Jimmy and Ben, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...

Queen

And we're related ... how?

February photo 24 -- The weekend in photos

February photo 23

Whatever happened to those guys?

Friday stuff

February photo 22

Eco fun

February photo 21

Page 123

February photo 20

What's for dinner tonight?

February photo 19

Dancing Queen

February photo 18

February photo 17

February photo 16

Moving

February photo 15

Stealing art? Rescuing a kitten? Finding treasure?

February photo 14

Fifty is nifty

February photo 13

February photo 12

I laughed so hard I cried.

My other mini-me

February photo 11

February photo 10

A very short story with audiovisuals

February photo 9

February photo 8

I'm speechless, for once

Just call me Jen

Sen. John McCain called me.

February photo 7

Super girls

February photo 6

Does Matt Damon's wife know how lucky she is?

Losing it -- an update

February photo 5

Why is twenty years called a 'score'?

Appreciation

February photo 4

Monday musings

February photo 3

Weeeeee are the champions, my friends....

Non-fiction

February photo 2

Be prepared

February photo 1

Preparations

Browsing at Zappos.com

Lesson learned

Adios WW

Funny

Good/bad, part 2

Good/bad

Elementary physics

A prayer to the powers that be

I *heart* iTunes

I should probably spend more time on my job today

Clueless

Little bits of Jen's gray matter

Pay it forward -- the results

I heart iTunes