The spring Lilly Pulitzer catalog came in the mail this weekend -- a Jenworld first. I was so flabbergasted by the arrival of this catalog that I had to discuss it with Pete to figure why in the hell the people at Lilly Corporate HQ thought I would be their target audience.
Anyone who knows me, knows that Lilly Pulitzer is not my look, nor is it within my budget. I do not wear pink, I definitely do not wear floral prints, and I most certainly do not spend hundreds of dollars on a pink floral dress I won't ever wear. I wear black. Lots of it. I'm not even sure that the people at Lilly are aware of black as a wardrobe color.
I did look through the catalog and was strangely fascinated by the lifestyle portrayed therein. There were lots of young, thin, tanned people. I doubt any model was older than 28. So I'm guessing the Lilly demographic is rich young people. Judging by some of the mother/daughter outfits, some of those rich young people have children -- adorable children who don't get dirty.
I'm going to insult some specific Lilly clothes now. If you are a Lilly fan, this is not directed at you and is not meant as an indictment of your wardrobe choices. Brightly colored shift dresses look adorable on other women, but not me. Also, $298 for a cotton summer dress is not happening here in Jenworld.
And some scary Lilly:
Are they shitting me? Who wears this? The witchy grandma from "Bewitched"?
This isn't so bad:
Still, the day I wear this is the day that Hell has indeed frozen over or Camilla has become Queen of England.
Even in navy blue, I can't imagine wearing this:
If it makes the mannequin look chunky, then imagine how it would look on me.
I looked at the pants too, since that's what I prefer over dresses:
All I can say is: Cher circa 1973.
Pete and I got a good laugh out of the Lilly men's clothing:
The men who wear these clothes are not afraid to wear pink and green pants, pastel blazers, and shoes without socks. They are also not afraid to use gel in their hair. Seriously, when did the "Miami Vice" look come back?
It is actually possible that there will soon be some Lilly in Jenworld. Elegant would love to be a Lilly girl. She has owned exactly one Lilly skort in her life and that's because I found one for an amazing price at a consignment shop a couple of years ago. The girl loved the hell out of that skort. So much so that I am now searching eBay for more Lilly for Elegant. I may not personally want to wear all that pink and green, but I can certainly help a seven-year-old out. The big question is: Will be I creating a cute little monster who will only dress like she lives in Palm Beach?
I can seriously picture Elegant in this:
It's $68. She won't be wearing it, unless I can find it for significantly less on eBay.
This is Elegant and her friends in 15 years:
The girl in the middle needs to do something about those tan lines. The girl on the far right obviously has a very heavy brain that causes her to hunch forward like that.
And here's Elegant's wedding in 20 years:
Can you imagine the mother-of-the-bride outfit? I am in deep trouble. And poor Pete is going to have to wear one of those Miami Vice outfits. Damn, we'd better start saving our money and working on our tans now.
I don't know if Graceful is a Lilly girl or not. While she wouldn't go near the dresses or the skorts, I think it's possible she might like the shorts or capri pants.
That's all the snark I can summon for Lilly at this moment. I'm going to go dress myself in all black and get busy with what needs to be done. There's no school, as it's a teacher work day. I'm going to gang press the girls into helping me with a small mailing for work, with the promise of a pilgrimage to Tar-zhay afterward.
Happy Monday everyone!