Monday, December 31, 2007

We're on a mission from God*

The Mother Ship called me home and I have lived to tell the tale.

As I mentioned yesterday, I daytripped to IKEA! with the ever fabulous Melissa. It was an arduous journey, but we survived and brought home Swedish goods as souvenirs.

The closest IKEA! is more than two hours from my house, so much pre-invasion planning was involved:

Yes, I created a shopping list before I left. Believe me, this was Serious Business. If I forgot something, I was not about to make the 4+ hour round trip journey again any time soon. So I planned carefully. I also ate a good breakfast and wore comfortable shoes. Invasions can be utterly screwed up by a lack of foresight, you know.

I even packed my camera. And then promptly forgot all about until we had made much progress through the store. Luckily, I remembered in time to capture an image of my favorite IKEA! kitchen:

I know, I know, it's bold and loud. But there's something about this that's just so damn compelling that I feel lust in my heart every time I see it.

I tried to get Melissa to do a cooking demo so that I could photograph her, but she refused, so instead here she is talking about the bacon she could fry up in this pan:

We spent more time in the kitchen department, where I picked out some of these wall cabinets:

Por quoi? It's part of the latest home reno project here in Jenworld, which will get an entry of its own -- hopefully this week, which would mean that Pete and I actually got off our duffs and did some actual work.

After going through the show rooms upstairs, we went downstairs, grabbed a shopping cart and started filling it:

Yes, that's just ONE of the carts we filled. I kid you not.

Here we are checking out curtains:

SO. MANY. CHOICES. So much cheap fabric that we'll never buy because it would fall apart the first time one of our children so much as sneezed near it.

And look, here are the curtains from the "High Bordello" school of style:

In the children's section, we found this bin full of stuffed animals that the kidlets can store their pajamas in:

I don't know how they think over there in Sweden, but here in the U.S. of A., we don't generally consider cockroaches to be appropriate bedtime imagery for our innocent babes.

Is anyone else as amused by the name of this corkscrew as we were:

We added more and more stuff to the cart:

Calls were made to our husbands:

At one point, Melissa was describing five different kinds of Roman blinds to her husband. Stop and think about it for a moment. Is any one of us partnered with a man who actually cares about that sort of stuff? I told Melissa that Rich didn't give a shit and to please stop bothering the man. He agreed.

We eventually made it through the labyrinth and then it was time to stand in line. And stand. And stand. And stand.

Melissa got through w-a-y before me and was kind enough to go into the Swedish foods shop, buy some chocolate, and come give me sustenance before I started chewing on the reduced-price Christmas gift wrap display by the registers.

We made our first trip with two shopping carts out to the Jenmobile and unloaded. Then we went back inside to pick up my cabinets.

We made a quick pit stop here to pick up supplies for the road and then we headed back south and west toward our homes and our families.

Tomorrow, I get to start assembling stuff.

* Bonus point and lots o' respect to the first person who can identify that quotation.


Kristabella said...

As always, IKEA is genius. Because when I use a crorkscrew, almost 100% of the time after I use it, I wake up the next morning Groggy.

Lisa@Take90West said...

A Chicago girl like myself would know that Elwood said that in the Blues Brothers! I actually think it was something like "they'll never catch us, we're on a mission from God."

Can't wait to see those cool cabinets up, I love 'em!

Mrs. G. said...

I love that kitchen too. I'm sure it's no surprise that I am fond of bold and loud.

I would have to say this is the best shopping trip I have ever had to Ikea...because I didn't have to be there. Mr. G. and I almost came to blows there when he realized we were trapped in a maze and he had to walk through the (gasp) ENTIRE store. I think this was the first and only time I called him (outloud and in a public venue) a bastard AND a son-of-a-bitch. And I meant it. When we both cooled off, we vowed never to enter the store together again.

Kristin said...


The name alone gives me a headache.

But, I am wondering if there are any horrible little children to whom I should send off a stuffed storage cockroach...

blackbird said...

I hope you were wearing your sunglasses...It's from The Blues Brothers.

Melissa said...

The Blues Brothers. I heart IKEA and I too live hours from one. I envy your day--sounds like it was a blast w/ your sidekick to share in the fun. Good luck renovating!

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

For Heaven's sake, you underestimate me! I'm a Chicago girl, that's Blues Brothers, circa 1980...even though I was only 5!

StLmom said...

Next time, take me with you! I was lusting over the IKEA site yesterday, living vicariously through you. Glad you had a good time. have fun assembling.

jenny said...

IKEA, where they can fit a couch into a 10"x20" box.

When they show you the little pictures of the tools you'll need to start assembling, they should really show at least ONE bottle of wine.

countrymouse said...

Damn--I'm way too late to get in on the bonus points portion of the game! Good ole Blues Brothers : )

I hate shopping. Hate. HATE. *HATE*. But I'm always happy when other people can get their groove on and enjoy it : )

And I'm now reminded to get back to work researching what I'd eventually like to do with my kitchen . . .

erin said...

Whenever you post about Ikea, I always feel guilty that I live within a 20-minute drive to one and work within a 10-minute drive to another. And yet I've been to Ikea maybe twice in my entire life. It just seems so wrong.

TX Poppet said...

Yes, but when you left El Guapos, did you have a full tank of geeas, a half pack of cigarettes, was it dark and were you wearing sunglasses? If so, I hope you hit it! (cue music).
Would you believe that I had all three Blues Brothers albums? What do you mean, "Figures"?

richgold said...

Our IKEA is much closer (about 20 minutes) but is also one of the smallest in North America. (Sigh.)

re the cockroaches. I thought they were too funny - though I didn't buy one. I got a beaver for my niece instead.

Yes, it lead to much joking and objectionable comments in the store when I said to my dear one "look at my beaver"! ;D Ooops.

The Guider said...

I'm much too late, can I plead I was on a 7 hour road trip home from Scotland?

All I have to say is:

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

The Guider said...

Damn, I was even too late with the sunglasses quote!

Anyway, forgot to ask, didn't you pick up a bag of meatballs?

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

Seriously, you people are the GREATEST!!! I love how many of you not only knew that quotation, but could spew more at me. You all rock!!!

Mrs. G: Pete's not so big on IKEA! either. He can handle about an hour and then gets glassy-eyed and CAN'T. HANDLE. ANOTHER. CHOICE.

Kristin: Believe me, I was wondering who should get a cockroach in the near future.

Blackbird: Sadly, my sunglasses are broken, so I didn't have them on yesterday.

STL: I have no intention of making that trip again any time soon, but I will holler in case you either want to go with me or place an order.

Erin: Part of the allure -- besides cheap Swedish goods -- is that for me to go there is on par with the energy expended for the Crusades. Oh, who am I kidding? IKEA! Could be in my backyard and I'd be there every day.

TX: Knowing that you have THREE BB albums, I now think you are even cooler than I already thought you were.

Guider: Am I the only person who thinks IKEA!'s meatballs are foul? They taste SO DAMN FAKE. So, no, I didn't get any.

Lori Anderson Designs said...

Oh those bordello curtains -- if they looked sheer, those are my craft show booth curtains (hot pink and purple, baby)!

Linda and her Surroundings said...

How interesting that your Ikea is exactly the same as ours.

Not only do you have to put it all together, you then have to get rid of the rubbish it came packed it.

PS Have a Happy New Year.

Family Adventure said...

I'm loving that kitchen, too. I love that it's shiny, smooth, sleek and RED. Not sure I'd ever have the guts to actually install it, though...but a girl can dream, right?!

Happy New Year!


Sarah O. said...

Oh how I miss IKEA. We had two within 25 miles of us in Chicago; now the closest one is literally a freaking thousand miles away in Tempe Arizona!

I'm a little late to mention The Blues Brothers but that won't stop me from reminding you that the correct Chicago accent pronunciation is "We're on a mission from Gaaaaaad.

BTW, Happy New Year!

Flutterby said...

No Ikea anywhere near here. Not even a decent day trip away. I got a grill pan sort of like that though very very recently. I consider it a Christmas gift cause it's Calphalon. Hub says it and the huge saute pan were *just being nice because I wanted them*. I can't convince him that something that fairly costly is a gift if I SAY it's a freaking gift, lol. Like... the really nice cool Bissell is just a vacuum cause we needed a new one... but if it had been a Dyson, he could have called that a gift and I wouldn't have batted an eye. But he still doesn't get it. I guess I should be glad.

traci anne said...

Dude, I LOVE Ikea. I'm even willing to trek out to Jersey (shudder) for the sweet sweet goodness! So.. FABULOUS.

Alice said...

I too must travel great distances to reach Ikea, however, for some reason it's worth it every time.
Where else could you try different style houses on one floor and fill up shopping carts of projects on the next?

Josie said...

A 2 hour trip to the nearest IKEA? Mine is a 5 minute drive. How on earth do you survive??