Thursday, December 13, 2007

More gift giving in Jenworld

Yahoo has a list of the ten holiday gifts that couples should avoid. I'm not sure who they interviewed in order to develop this list, but I'm going to guess dating couples and newlyweds, not those people who've been married for some time.

Here's how it works in Jenworld:

Gift to avoid #1: Unless you are planning on proposing, avoid gifting jewelry, especially a ring, as that perceived level of commitment may intimidate your sweetheart.

Jen's comment: The day Pete gives me a ring for Christmas or my birthday (aka "National Jen Day") is the day I file for divorce. He does not buy me expensive jewelry. Period. If he does, it will be because he has a very guilty conscience and has done something very wrong, such as bought a motorcycle or booked us for a tour of all amusement parks in the Midwest. I'm not sure which one would land him into worse trouble. And I of course would never ever give my man jewelry. His name is Pete, not Guido, and we live in Virginia, not New Jersey.

Gift to avoid #2: While a ring may be considered overboard, anything impersonal, such as a kitchen appliance or gift card can be construed as thoughtless or insincere.

Jen's comment: Insincere? I think not. Thoughtless? It depends. A gift card to would be fine. A gift card to a any amusement park gift shop would be thoughtless and would be countered by me with a gift card to MY favorite shoe store. Then we'd each get what we want.

Gift to avoid #3: Avoid gifting lingerie for your first holidays together. It may be considered too intimate and send the wrong message.

Jen's comment: Too intimate? Are you shitting me? I have given birth TWICE in front of that man. He has seen stuff that even I haven't seen. (You try looking over your huge pregnant belly -- there's nothing to see because of the obstructed view.) I don't think there can be too much intimacy given what we've been through. That said, lingerie is a definite NO, but for different reasons. ANY lingerie for ANY gift giving occasion at ANY point in our relationship is not good. I have had two children; I have the stretch marks to prove it. Wardrobe items from Frederick's of Hollywood are not in my future. Were Pete to buy anything like that for me, there would be hell to pay.

Gift to avoid #4: Gifting something selfish, such as sporting event tickets when you know your significant other isn't a sports fan, can relay that you may be more focused on your own interests than that of the person you are getting the gift for.

Jen's comment: Amen! Pete knows better than that. Tickets to an amusement park or the Van Halen concert would definitely be countered with tickets to an art museum and possibly the Spice Girls World Tour.

Gift to avoid #5: Work-related items that promote efficiency at the office should generally be avoided. Why bring up work during the holidays, which is a time for relaxation.

Jen's comment: I'm trying to think if there's any sort of technical thingy I've been angling for... Hmmm, nope, this one is dead on. As for me giving Pete something technical, um, he is Mr. Technical. That would be like me trying to buy a bike for Lance Armstrong.

Gift to avoid #6: Clothing may be offensive, especially if you aren't sure about what size to purchase.

Jen's world: And THAT is why I leave catalogs all over the damn place; each one carefully annotated with my personal desires. And Pete? You can almost never go wrong with excellent shoes. And if I were to buy clothes for Pete, he'd probably be relieved because he hates to shop.

Gift to avoid #7: Animals as presents are generally bad ideas unless you know the person very well. Pets are huge commitments and way too serious for a "first holiday" together.

Jen's comment: Pete knows me very well, so he'd never attempt this one. Animals as gifts, or any animal brought home for any reason at all at any time during the year, is grounds for divorce. No negotiating.

Gift to avoid #8: Re-gifting is never a good idea, especially if it's a gift from a past relationship.

Jen's comment: People, Pete and I have been together for nearly 20 years. If he has anything left over from a previous relationship, I'm going to sell it and pocket the cash because it's now an antique and has value.

Gift to avoid #9: Forget cliches, such as boxes of chocolates or flowers. They show little thought or effort.

Jen's comment: Actually, I am hoping Pete will put my favorite British chocolates in my stocking. Even though I'm doing Weight Watchers, I can still have the occasional splurge. As for flowers, see #1. (Pete, feel free to buy lots of Cadbury's honey crisp chocolate bars from World Market. Oh, and anything with dark chocolate AND marzipan is good too.)

Gift to avoid #10: Avoid gifts that may suggest that your significant other needs to change something about himself/herself, such as exercise clothes or gym equipment, which may say that he/she doesn't look good enough as he/she is.

Jen's comment: Since I've already committed to making changes, I'm not opposed to this one. Beyond that, we all know that I'm perfectly perfect in every way. And Pete agrees. Right honey?


Professor J said...

I love English chocolates! I've often thought I'd be three hundred pounds if I lived in England.

smalltownmom said...

In my world, I buy my own gifts and he wraps them. (I've got my eye on a fake fur coat.) But I beg for just one thing that is a complete surprise, and I don't care what it is!

Bunny Bunster said...

I so totally want a red Kitchen Aid mixer and red spatulas for Christmas!
Why, yes, we've been married for 19 years, why do you ask??

I got him a black leather sport coat (totally awesomely cool!!), black ostrich boots (full quill) and a matching belt. And clothes.

Mommi Tutu said...

As always, you're spot on, Jen. I read that article too, and just shook my head . . .but hey, high schoolers in their first "real" realationship need advice, too - thanks yahoo:)

And for the record, I asked for diapers for Christmas (for my babies, not ME!) and would be thrilled to receive cases of them. Yeah, I'm that lame.

Melissa said...

mmmmm...English chocolates...

Happy Working Mom said...

You are freaking hilarious! And dead on! It's funny how when you're in a long term relationship (aka "marriage") gifts like a mixer or gourmet coffee maker are spectacular gifts!

And I'm with you on the animals, for sure!

Family Adventure said...

Brilliant, Jen! I LOL at # 3 and # 8 was my fave!

Heidi :)

The Hotfessional said...

We talked about that article yesterday. Married 17 years? I'm thinking it's the Dyson Christmas.

Flutterby said...

Yep.. I am with smalltownmom; I buy my own gifts too because he bugs the CRAP out of me asking what I want. I tried and tried to hold off this year but he just kept on and on. I didn't even have anything I could come up with until I was out shopping with Gadget and we came across some markdown electronics somewhere and there it was... a Memorex video dock for the iPod video I got LAST year. It's currently residing in hubs closet.

Peggy Sez.. said...

I have to agree with JenWorld on #6. Catalogs are a girls best friend here.

countrymouse said...

I have tried and tried with the catalogue thing. I even draw stick people having conversations about all the wonderful items Kristin might enjoy. To no avail . . .

Bring on the chocolate, flowers and jewelry for me!

Jennifer said...

I agree with you mostly. Except about the animals. The more the merrier a Christmas, for me.