We got a Playmobil calendar this year:
That's right, don't you just feel the Christmas spirit just OOZING from every nook and cranny of UNICORN PARADISE!
This is what it should look like once the various pieces are opened:
That's a whole lotta pink. A real whole lot. Obviously, no boys live in this house. Well, except Pete, but he's long since resigned himself to the strong feminine presence in Jenworld. And "feminine presence" = pink and lots of it.
In between the first and second photos, however, some assembly is necessary. So much so, that it could take two highly intelligent sober adults about 45 minutes from start to finish just to open the packaging and assemble the advent calendar so that the children can start opening the various boxes for each day. That 45 minutes involved working steadily and not stopping to do anything else, like bang our heads against the wall for buying something that requires so much damn work at 10:30 on a Friday night.
In case you're not familiar with the Playmobil advent calendar oeuvre, here are the assembly instructions:
- There are 24 days. Each day is represented by a box, which arrives flat and must be assembled.
- Within each box is some sort of Playmobil piece or pieces, most of which must be assembled.
- Only, too bad that the Playmobil people didn't actually put the various pieces in the same bags. The pieces for Box #1 were scattered among three different plastic bags, with other pieces for other days mixed in there too.
- Everything in this advent calendar is in varying shades of pink, hot pink, pale pink, and white, with touches of green thrown in, so sorting amongst the pieces is a real joy. [sarcasm]
- I was dropping the f-word freely and repeatedly by December 3rd.
- And FIVE of the boxes had some sort of flowers, which involved putting teeny tiny little flowers onto some sort of greenery.
- Which was a pain in the ass and I ended up fumbling and dropping plastic shit everywhere.
- Pete assembled the boxes, so he was able to work faster than me.
- When I would ask for a new box so that I could put some plastic crapola in, Pete tested my pissed-off reflexes by tossing the box at me.
- I was not wearing my glasses.
- Did I mention that I was getting a bit irritated?
- Oh, and that I cussed mightily?
- After the 24 boxes are transformed from 2-D to 3-D and there are bits o' plastic stuff in each one, it's time to assemble the whole shebang. The 24 boxes are attached to a cardboard thing that hangs on the wall.
- More cussing was involved in the process of getting the damn boxes to hang properly and then stay, just stay damn it.
- Then the flower-strewn cardboard "stage" had to be assembled.
- Pete tried to put the arch on backwards and it took a few attempts before he'd listen to me and try assembling it the right way.
- But we persevered and got everything set up and ready for the girls in the morning, which is now not too many hours away.
Next year, I'd like a "Mom's Special Advent Calendar." Each day, there's a special treat just for the Queen of the house: mini liquor bottles, chocolate, and Valium and other assorted pharmaceuticals. It would arrive at my house already assembled and ready to go. Now THAT would put me in the Christmas spirit.