Thursday, November 15, 2007

Losing it

A few days ago, I stepped on the scales, for the first time in a couple of weeks.

Ho-ly shit!

Yes, that's exactly what I said at that moment.

When did all that happen?

Actually, I know the answer and shouldn't have been too surprised. My weight has been steadily, but insistently creeping up in the past year, and I attribute this to the serious amounts of stress eating I've been doing + the snacking + the general love of eating.

No more.

After I got off the scales, I spent several hours sulking and pouting. Then I did some online research and, after further thought, I signed my fat ass and fat thighs and fat everything else up for Weight Watchers. This will be my first-ever foray into dieting and a serious weight-loss program. Not because I haven't needed to, but because I have been in denial for years. I'm overweight and have known it, but have been too lazy to deal with it.

Thus I have entered the world of considering each and every bite of food and drop of liquid that goes into my mouth. It requires a lot of thought and planning, so now I feel like I spend all of my time thinking about food. But it's what I must do in order to succeed.

For now, I'm not going to share any numbers -- not even Pete knows the Ugly Number that has gotten me so upset -- but I promise to lay out the scary honest facts on or around February 14 (appropriate, eh?), which will be my three month mark on what is going to be a long and Twinkie-free journey. And I'm posting this here in a further effort to make sure I stick with this. Because now you all know and can e-yell at me if I happen to mention that I ate an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

By now you have probably already thought to yourself, "Jeezus Jen, what a terrible time of year to start this." I agree. It's not ideal, but I'm a big girl (literally and figuratively) and can deal.

I'm already planning for Thanksgiving -- a day when we'll not only be tempted with an array of amazing foods, but when we will be thusly tempted TWICE. Yes, we have one of THOSE holidays where we eat lunch with one side of my family (my father and his people) and then dinner with the other branch (Mom, a.k.a. "Grandma Ass"). In the next week, I'm going to be researching the fucking points on any possible food that could tempt me on Turkey Day and the relative portion sizes. Then, so help me, I'm going to make a list of what I'll be eating and how much. Really. It's the only way I'll get through the day without eating twice my allotted points -- for the week. In between meals, I'm hoping I'll have time for a walk through my mother's neighborhood and am going to toss my sneakers in the car in anticipation of that.

I went to the grocery store today. Actually, I went to THREE stores in NINETY minutes. Yes, I was speed walking up and down the aisles. How else to ignore all the wonderful holiday foods that the stores have displayed so well for me to see? Instead, I spent a lot of time in the produce section stocking up on lettuce, carrots, cucumbers, and all those other healthy foods that will be making up more of my diet in the coming weeks and months. I did not bring home a single treat or anything that could be described as junk food.

So here it is folks. My time of reckoning. There are going to be days when I'm grumpy as hell because I want to dive face-first into a five pound bag of M&Ms and I can't.

It's going to be an interesting journey.


blackbird said...


Keep me posted and I'll keep cheering.

Josie said...

I'm behind you 100%. Although it is a crappy time of the year to be starting, I know you have the willpower to do it.
Also, if you slip, you slip. You're human and I won't let you beat yourself up if you happen to dive head first into a bowl of M&M's.
Otherwise, GO JEN!!!

Suzanne said...

Good luck, Jen!

Jennifer said...

We are here to help and give you support. I will be watching for inspiration.

Peggy Sez.. said...

I know this is a terrible time of year to start a "Lifestyle" change so don't be too hard on yourself.I plan to start after the holidays..Yes I BE chicken..I will be in your cheering section(should you need one)

Moira said...

Best of luck to you! The best part about Weight Watchers is tomorrow is always a new day. I agree with Josie - don't beat yourself up if you slip. My favorite holiday season was actually the year I lost 12 pounds on Weight Watchers between November and December. (I only had about 25 to lose total.) You can do it!

smalltownmom said...

Good luck, and I hope that ice cream in your freezer doesn't fall out and tempt you!

Elizabeth M. said...

One evening a couple of weeks ago I ran across a fitness website called, and just for a lark I started using it to track my calories. After a few days it got to be a habit. Now I think I might actually be able to lose some weight, exercise, and stop being a middle-aged tub of goo. I'll still be middle-aged, of course, but hopefully with less goo.

So hang in there, and I will too!

Melissa said...

I will totally do this with you if you.

Mrs. G. said...

I lost thirty-four pounds on WW last year, and I didn't suffer. I really didn't. I paid extra for the online membership, and I faithfully recorded all my meals in the food tracker. The routine really helped me. Plus I loved seeing the graph line go was inspiring.

I can see where people would question your timing with the holidays coming up, but you know it's never a good time. There's always a holiday or a birthday or a pint of Haagen Daz calling your name.

You go girl...I'll be rooting for you over here.

I really recommend the 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet website...there are so many good WW tips.

GML Family said...

I've been wanting to start myself, but I'm weak. I can't do it alone. WOuld you be interested in doing this together? I'm a mom of a one-year old and a huge fan of txpoppet-which is where I found your link. I'm addicted to your humor and lift-me -ups!
LEt me know!

Sue said...

I'm right there with you. I really think we should start a group diet blog or something...

Flutterby said...

Once you start losing, it's addictive, isn't it?! Once you actually start seeing and feeling it, it is just so much easier to make the right choices.

countrymouse said...

Good on ya : )

I learned this cool thing: Once a week (same time every week) give yourself one hour to eat *anything* you want--no restrictions whatsoever. You can't undo a whole week's worth of diet and exercise in one hour. And all those things you crave (every time you tell yourself not to have that twinkie or the ice cream or the french fries) you can be consoled knowing you'll have those things in your one special meal. And the coolest part about it is after the first couple weeks you don't have major cravings for all that stuff anyway.

My 2 cents : ) Good luck!

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Go Jennifer - you will do it. I am so sure of it.

A diet diary is a good thing. When you write down everything you eat it teaches you so much about portion control etc.

Food is so efficient. The older you get, the less of it you need.

Remember that lovely saying "Little Pickers wear Big Knickers".

Happy Working Mom said...

Good Luck!!!

I can't wait to hear your results! And good for you attempting this at this time of year. I would have no self-control, that's for sure!

Professor J said...

I'm with you, Jen. I have been really sliding the past few weeks, but I do weight watcher's on line. We can do it!

Family Adventure said...

Good for you! I am inspired, too! I need to lose a few.

I'm glad you are not sulking, but taking action. Way better for ya ! :)


erin said...

I think it's totally cool that you're doing this! I tried WW a few years ago and hated it - something about the meetings and public weigh-ins, etc. BUT, a friend of mine recently mentioned that she's been using the online system and she LOVES it. I've been toying with the idea of joining again, but online this time, b/c I think that might work better for me. After reading your post I feel even more inspired!

I hope you'll post updates every so often so we know how you're doing. If anything, it sounds like you've got plenty of motivation and enthusiasm for this, so I think you'll do awesome!

MizMell said...

Good luck. I have faith in you.
(Lose a few pounds for me, will ya?)