... and I can now inform you all with complete authority that "Asics" sneakers are MOST CERTAINLY NOT pronounced "ass kicks."
Consider this a public service announcement and learn from my error.
I bought some Brooks running shoes, which is my third pair by them in as many years. Maybe next time I'll buy new ones BEFORE I walk a hole in the sole, which I found on Sunday when I went for a walk in the rain. Someone should invent an odometer that tracks how many miles you've put on a pair of sneakers and then a bell rings when you hit the 500 mile mark. I estimate that I put around 700 on that last pair.