[With apologies to my brother and sister-in-law, because I just couldn't help myself.]
Dear Aunt Jen,
Halloween's coming. My first one ever! I'm so excited. I get to wear a costume and have all the wild fun that a seven-month-old baby has on Halloween.
The problem is that Mom and Dad aren't letting me be COOL. They want me to be CUTE. This is what they got me:
A freaking penguin!?!? Are they shitting me? This picture is going to come back to haunt me, I just know it.
My cousins are going as Star Wars characters and I want in on the action.
THIS is what I want to be:
You see that? That is one bad mofo. No one calls Vader cute. (Just like no one puts Baby in a corner -- but that's another story.)
I even let my sticky fingers do some research. Here's where you can buy my costume and save me from ignominy.
Help me Aunt Jen. You're my only hope.
[And, just for shits and giggles, here's another recent photo...]