Pray for me people for am I am either a very brave or very crazy woman or both.
To celebrate her birthday, my older daughter has invited five friends to spend the night with us tonight.
So after a long busy Saturday, when I should be by all rights sitting down on the sofa with a drink, not to get up again for many hours, at which point I would then collapse in to my bed, I will instead be witnessing the carnage that a gaggle of girls will wreak on my house.
I will be relegating them mostly to the basement rec room, but I will occasionally have to let them out to eat dinner and dessert, go to the bathroom, and call their parents when they're homesick in the middle of the night.
The girls will be watching movies, playing, giggling, and doing all the normal things that eight- and nine-year-old girls do. They will also very likely be staying up far too late tonight. I feel confident that, by 11 p.m., I'll want to yell "Shut the fuck up" at them, as if they were college students partying in a hotel at 2 a.m., but obviously I cannot say something so foul as "shut" and "up" to the girls. At least I don't have to worry about them doing beer bongs or any other kinds of bongs.
I've specified that all girls are to be retrieved by their parents by 10 a.m. Sunday, at which time I will consider all leftover children mine permanently and their parents will have to pay me vast sums of money to get them back. Hey, it's a way of funding whatever drug needs I'll have by the time this whole thing is over.
So light a few candles and send some good karma my way today that I actually get some sleep tonight.