Sunday, September 02, 2007

If I had a million dollars and then some...

Have you seen this story on Yahoo news?

There were four winning tickets for Friday's $330 million Mega Millions jackpot. According to preliminary calculations, each ticket would be worth about $82 million if the prize were taken in 26 annual payments. If taken in one lump sum payment, the payout would be $48,615,188.

Can you even imagine waking up one day to discover that you're filthy stinking rich?

We don't buy lottery tickets here in Jenworld, but Pete and I do like to think about what we'd do if we ever had serious fuck you money:

We'd take the lump sum payment of $48 million and change. Obviously, we'd consult financial experts and figure out what to do with all that moolah. After all, you just don't dump that kind of money into a savings account earning 2% interest or roll it into CDs.

We'd probably quit our jobs, but not necessarily immediately and possibly not until we figured out what we'd do with our time. Loafing around and watching the harpies on "The View" does not count as a viable plan of action.

We'd change a few things about our current lifestyle -- farming out the cleaning of our toilets is numero uno on my list -- but we'd try to keep things normal. In fact, if we could somehow hide that huge influx of wealth into our checking account, we would. We wouldn't tell friends or neighbors or even our kids. We'd live normally enough that I think we could away with it.

We'd set up trust funds for the girls, but not tell them until they're old enough to handle that kind of money in a mature and responsible manner. Which does not include participating in a "Girls Gone Wild" video during spring break or hanging out with any member of the Hilton family.

We'd help out some family members, but only the ones who don't actively piss me off. Wait a moment, could I pay off some people to leave me alone and never bother me again? That is a most compelling thought...

Beyond that, I don't envision a lot major splurges or radical changes in our lifestyle, because that's not how we roll here in Jenworld. We're fiscally conservative and all that shit.

We might get wild and crazy and upgrade our 2000 model year minivan to a 2007, but no Porsche or BMW would appear in our driveway. I think we've reached the point when we can have a minivan that doesn't have upholstery covered in crushed Cheerios and dried apple juice.

Pete would dream about getting a motorcycle or maybe building a roller coaster in our back yard, but I can assure you that neither of those fantasies will be fulfilled. Nor would I start dropping insane amounts of money on shoes.

We would not join a country club, start playing golf, or attend galas and other fancy events.

The bulk of the money would be donated. Anonymously.

That's right. We would give the money away without people knowing it was us. There would be no academic buildings, scholarships, or professorships named after us. Actually, our alma mater wouldn't see any of the money because it's not needed over there.

Pete and I have long since agreed that our charitable dollars go to true charities. Food banks and soup kitchens. Homeless shelters and women's shelters. Literacy programs and job training programs. You get the idea.

So anyway, those are my 2 a.m. musings on lottery winnings and what we'd do with them if we ever actually started playing lotto and then actually won.


The Guider said...

Oh can I play?

We'd both jack our jobs in because they don't define us. We'd definitely move, probably to a house nearer but not too near my family as it's not being able to find work there that is stopping us doing that now. And our new house would be bigger but not crazy bigger, like our bedroom would have room for more than just the bed and wardrobe and you'd be able to open the wardrobe without banging the door on the end of the bed.

New cars cos my husbands is ancient and mine keeps going wrong.

Investments for the kids. Mortgages paid off for our siblings.

Then I'd like a house in France.

After that, the benevolence sets in - like you we'd give a lot away. In fact, maybe that could be what takes up our time, working to ensure the money does the best work it can.

And I'd still be a Brownie leader.

Flutterby said...

Don't think for one minute that paying someone off to leave you alone will work. They will just come back for more.

QueenMother said...

I can honestly say that Mr. QM would NOT quit his job. Your other ideas sound great, but you will need to come with me to my country club. We can laugh at the moms who wear high heels to the pool.

Jennifer said...

Flutterby: You are right about that, but I can still dream, can't I? :-)

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Not much would change in my life BUT I would do all my shopping at Macro Whole Foods (terribly overpriced organic, macro, vegan supportive and eco friendly supermarket). Might include a personal trainer in my life. Share some $$$. Invest some and use proceeds in a philanthropic way. Not freak each time I go to the dentist. Travel - well, yeah. Shopping - bit more of it. Go back to study something in the artistic field. Build an amazing and weird house in a forest. Did I say not much would change in my life???

erin said...

I only buy tickets when the jackpot gets really high, like this time. Sadly, I am not one of the lucky 4. Now, if I won the cash, I'd keep it low key like you guys, keep working, etc., at least until I figured out a plan of action. I'd buy a house, but nothing crazy. And then I'd buy a house up on Cape Cod and another in the mountains for skiiing and snowboarding. But none of the houses would be huge. And I wouldn't tell anyone except immediate family - and I'd only tell them when I gave them their cut of the winnings. My parents would be able to retire and I'd pay off my sister & brothers' mortgages, and I'd set up trust funds for my nieces, nephews & the kids of a few friends of mine, and then I'd donate a bunch of cash. The rest I'd use to travel (including following my favorite band on tour for an entire summer - in a pimped out tour bus of my own, complete with a driver) and go back to school just for fun - I'd take classes in philosophy and film and photography and stuff like that. Wow, that would be fun. I don't think I'd be a good right person though, being raised in a middle/working class family means I just have no interest in the caviar lifestyle.

Lori Anderson Designs said...

I'd buy the house of our dreams.

I'd save enough for Zack's college.

I'd pay off all debts.

I'd invest some.

I'd put some in a "travel the world some more" fund.

Then I'd like to donate to a bunch of public schools, with the caveat that the money has to be spent in a particular way, so it wouldn't just *POOF* disappear.

And I love my job, so I'd keep it! :-) But I sure would have more money for beads!