Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Why my mother is called "Ass."

My mother's name is Alice, which is a pretty normal name and there's not much you can do to twist it around or mess with it.

When Graceful was a toddler, however, she called her grandmother "Gamma Ass," which we all thought was pretty funny, especially the grandma herself. Eventually Graceful got it right, but the rest of us just couldn't let it drop. We started intentionally mixing up "ass" and "Alice." For example, my brother-in-law Andy, in reference to something Mom was irritated about, asked if she was going to "open up a can of whoop-Alice." Or I'll say something to Pete about kicking his Alice. And I can't tell you the number of times I've heard Andy come into a room and greet his mother-in-law as "Ass."

It's totally a term of endearment, just as we call my aunt Crazy Aunt Laura. So, just an explanation in case anyone thinks I'm being disrespectful to the woman who birthed me.

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