Saturday, March 10, 2007

They should have watched "Amelie" instead

"EAU CLAIRE, Wis. - Attempts to do a movie stunt landed one man in the hospital with burned genitals and another facing criminal charges. Jared W. Anderson, 20, suffered serious burns to his hands and genitals, according to the criminal complaint. Randell D. Peterson, 43, who sprayed lighter fluid on Anderson and lit him on fire, was charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment Tuesday in Eau Claire County Court. Witnesses told police that Anderson, who was drunk, volunteered to do the stunt Sunday after watching the movie, the complaint said. The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the "Jackass" movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire."

Hmm... Where to start? So much to work with here. Well, there's the obvious: The two idiots were drunk. Makes me wonder about them when they're sober, as beer (it just had to be a case of Bud) tends to remove the filters that hide a person's stupidity.

There were two men involved, and not a woman in sight... You never hear about a couple of women doing stupid stuff like this. No, if two women were going to recreate a scene from a movie, it's more likely to be Julia Roberts' shopping spree in "Pretty Woman." (Please, pretty please let a rich man give us a wad o' cash and beg us to go shopping.) Plus, if there had been at least one woman present during the incident, I'm sure there would have been no incident to be report.

And if the two retards involved in this incident DO have girlfriends, I hope those women look long and hard at their relationships and decide that life's too short to be involved with men whose last words one day are likely going to be, "Hey y'all watch this!" Note I said "girlfriends" and not wives because I can't imagine 1) anyone marrying two such sorry specimens of the male species or 2) if someone was that idiotic, staying married for very long.

Lawyer,"So Mrs. Peterson what are the grounds on which you'd like to file for divorce?

Soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Peterson, "Well, Randy's just a dumbass and I never know when I'm going to get a call from either the ER or the county jail."

So Dumbass and Dumberass were trying to imitate something from one of the "Jackass" movies. I haven't seen any of that particular series, but I'm guessing that the title says it all. This is a movie geared toward the male species. There are no subtitles, no Meryl Streep, no artsy photography. Hell, I'm wondering if there's even a story line or if the movies are just scene after scene of Stupid Men Stuff.

I could go on and on here, but I think we all get the picture.

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