Monday, March 26, 2007

The band plays on

Things are progressing nicely with the fantasy all-girl rock band. The music is good and everyone is collaborating well.

Che has just about finished negotiations with Madison Square Garden and we'll be playing there later in the spring. We've all got Swedish masseurs, the gourmet treats of our choice, and wardrobe stipends. U2 is prolly going to join us for part of the first act, because Bono just keeps begging and pleading to get in on the action. He even offered to talk to both the Pope and the Dalai Lama about working on world peace.

[Note to Bono: Dude, you gotta stop groveling and be a man. You are one of the five coolest people in the world, so get off your knees and act it.]

Lori is working out well as our new keyboardist -- even better than Nick, since she doesn't cherry pick the best makeup and hair products and leave the crap for us.

Melissa has decided that, in honor of her most favoritest Amy Winehouse, that she too is gonna have a big ol' Texas-teased bouffant. I've ordered a case of hair spray and also some shellac.

We've also added Nina as our violinist. If you've ever seen Boyd Tinsley of Dave Matthews Band do his thing, you'll understand why we just had to have a bitchin' violinist. So we'll be adding "Ants Marching" by DMB to our playlist to really showcase her talents.

Oh, and the Bail Babes have managed to stay out of trouble, which is a relief, since I'd rather not spend too much money for bail, bribes, or hush money. If they can continue to behave, I might even find money to get earrings to match our Tiffany class rings. Since they've decided to expand on their Motown Moves, I've asked Justin Timberlake to give them a few lessons on his signature brand of dancin'. He expressed great interest in both the tutorials and also getting to know the Bail Babes better. Should I be suspicious?

I've hired Mary Poppins to nanny for us, since every single member of the band is a mother of kidlets under the age of nine. Mary promises not to let the kids play on rooftops or with strange chimney sweeps.

That's all for now. More when I know it!

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